Recent forum posts (all topics)

My husband and I have been together for almost 20 years, married for 13. We have 3 boys and as they get older and their issues become more apparent it feels like it has brought our issues more clearly into the light. About a year ago my husband got an official diagnosis of ADHD. I was hopeful that a diagnosis would help improve certain things in our relationship that are consistent sources of conflict. These things are, poor time management, poor sleep habits- trouble waking, hyper-focus, lack of planning, impulsivity and distractibility.

So quickly:

I come from a big blended family. We are very loud, educated and ADHD. Living in a foreign Country, my parents had to deal with some of my siblings showing symotoms of ADHD but never diagnosed. Mostly because my parents didn't believe in ADHD. I was always inattentive but got a formal diagnosis at 17.

My husband has severe ADHD.  While this makes him the "fun outgoing one" it is the most frustrating thing to me and is only seeming to get worse.  The "drop and go" messy, unorganized way he is, the leaves cabinets and drawers open, zones out on computer games is SO frustrating but safety issues are now the biggest problem.  We have twin 4 year olds and my son is on the autism spectrum, sensory seeking, and no safety awareness.

Last night I confirmed something I long suspected and something inside me just... I dont know...

Hello, Ive been coming here quite often recently after discovering that I have ADHD along with OCD. I havent been diagnosed with them yet, I go in next week. Just seeing all of the symptoms and stories that sound exactly like mine though.  So on with my story.

Due my husband's retirement and my current unemployment, we are suddenly sharing lots of time together.  We've been married for 35 years and I've always understood that his ADHD was an issue, and I've given him the benefit of the doubt for all of that time.  But today he told me that I can't start talking to him any more unless I'm sure he isn't thinking about something, or I can see that he isn't doing something - because it makes him very angry when I distract him and he loses his train of thought.

My husband and I have been separated, amicably, for more than a year after having been together for 16 years. We're both working on ourselves, supportive of each other, and trying to find our own paths without expectation. During our time apart, we've both read about ADD and independently have come to believe that we both have it. Ironically, I think this realization is strengthening our connection and gives me some hope for our future together … we have an tween daughter and co-own a business together.

So I made a decision: DH and I have been seeing a marriage counselor since the dawn of time and we each want different things--he has hope that things will get better, I want to figure out how to deal with the reality we find ourselves in.  We don't fight, I am paying down our debt, DH helps with the kids, makes dinner when he works from home, the news is not all bad.  What's bad is there is virtually no emotional connection.  There has not been anything physical in 18 months.  We don't go out, either by ourselves or with other couples.

So as most of you know - I have been trying to "act from love" for the past few months, in response to my husband really stepping things up around the house, and for my OWN well being as i would rather always act from love than not. 

I wanted to make a positive post about the progress that my wife is making in accepting her part of our relationship problems which I can start by saying her end of the legitimate things she has had to deal with on my end?  In our own way....each of us has had to put up with more than we have been able to deal with effectively ( and learn to cope ) with the unacceptable a times which I could easily evaluate as a category in in itself?