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This is my first time posting here. My ADHD husband and I have been together for 7 years (married 5) and just recently discovered he most likely has ADHD. We are not able to get a professional evaluation and consultation, since they are very expensive in my country and due to our BIG debt, we are living paycheck to paycheck, so I'm not able to save enough money for now.

I woke up this morning with the realisation ive/we've been putting bandaids on òur train wreck of a marriage. I kinda knew it deep down but for some reason today, i felt compelled to journal this morning (somethig i dont really enjoy or do much). 

I've become used to angry outbursts towards me from adhd partner exactly as others describe on here. Sudden. Unexpected. Pointless. I find myself in confrontation and no idea how it has occurred. 

Ive also watched him kick off at other men over disagreements, things he didn't like or Road rage. 

But then I watched him kick off at a woman half his age and from my POV he looked like a bully. Although I get treated like that weekly, it was horrifying to watch. He always thinks his reasons are valid and reasonable too, nothing will ever show him otherwise. 

Living with ADHD can be challenging, not only for the individual affected but also for their partner. If your partner has ADHD, you might find yourself navigating emotional highs and lows, impulsivity, forgetfulness, and difficulties with focus. This thread is dedicated to sharing tips, strategies, and insights on how to best support your partner while maintaining your own well-being.

Key Discussion Points:

Anger and frustration are common emotional experiences for individuals with ADHD. The condition affects impulse control, emotional regulation, and frustration tolerance, making it easier to become overwhelmed by strong emotions. Triggers may include difficulty with focus, forgetfulness, sensory overload, or feeling misunderstood. These emotional responses can impact relationships, work, and self-esteem. However, strategies such as mindfulness, cognitive behavioral techniques, structured routines, and professional support can help manage these emotions effectively.

There’s one fact about my unfortunate two-decade ADD marriage that still makes it hard to accept divorce.

I have not posted in some time, hoping all would improve but it has not. My husband is very angry that I no longer trust him (big surprise when he neglects to inform me of funds used to support his business, lack of communication, and lack of follow through). I have attempted to share with him how trust is built through small actions (following up on what he tells me) but it appears he is so “hurt” by my lack of trust in him that he does not even comprehend.

This is long. Thanks for those who stick with it.

I (40ishF) am the ADHD spouse and have been with my husband (40ishM) for over ten years. While he doesn't have ADHD, he has chronic depression and has received a BD diagnosis in the past (those his current psychiatrist didn't agree with this diagnosis). He is on meds and has been taking meds since we've been together.

it's been some time since I've been able to post. And to be honest, nothing has gotten better - if anything it's gotten so much worse and I need a safe space to vent/cry/relate and all the things in between. 

Spoke to a friend who has also divorced an (hers just probably) ADHD partner after a long marriage. Like me, she feels she has little appetite for life now more than a year after divorce. 

We agreed there’s exhaustion. There’s difficulty shaping life into something that makes sense. There’s a fine balance between needing to add more people and activities to life and not quite being able to handle more. There’s sadness and loss of confidence.