I forgot how helpful..and scary..this site can be. If I am to stay, and not want to run away from my husband, I need to find a middle ground. I thought maybe it would help to get things into perspective..
I feel that my husband is as deserving of love as I am. He is a child of God and deserves love and respect...even when his behavior doesn't earn it.
Someone explain this to me--my ADHD DH has been working literally 7 days a week from 6am until 10pm. He has been unemployed since January so these are side jobs, handy man stuff that he is doing. While I am happy at the money that is coming in and the fact that he is busy and has somewhere to go every day, our two kids miss him terribly. He himself says how much he misses them. Side note--he and I are on the verge of divorce, so I don't care when/if he's around, but the kids do. Today he took a day off.
1. Denial and Isolation
Well, as I'm sure you can all tell from my forum name and post topic, I'm at my wits end. I've been with my fiancé for three years now. We have a two year old son. The first year of our relationship was great. Caring, considerate, and generally awesome. When my fiancé got pregnant, it slowly started to change. The first few months with our new baby boy were pretty good. Yet, of course had the usual issues that arise for new parents. Sleeplessness, and constant needs of our son left us both very tired. There was always something to do. However, at the time we took it pretty well.
You all know the story by now of my H who won't go to his job but doesn't get fired. He has gone in once in 3 weeks. I know he has been lying to me but have yet to confront him about it. Maybe 2 days a week he simply doesn't go in and then the other 3 he will leave the house but I can tell from phone calls to attendance, his bank account and simply looking at his hours online that he hasn't gone in on those days. Instead he leaves and goes and has breakfast somewhere for a few hours until I leaves for work and then comes home, acting like he's been at work all day.
I'm going to my diagnosis app today.
I know I have ADHD or feel i do. but am a bit worried that I don't have all the systems.
Actually I might have just found ways in my adult life to take these symptoms into account.
I clip my key ring to my belt immediately.
I use lists to stay organized
I'm bit worried, what if I'm miss diagnosed?
What if i really am selfish and lazy?
I guess I will have to wait and see
I am at a loss to get my husband to drive more carefully. Many times I think that he is truly on "auto-pilot" and
doesn't realize that he is driving recklessly. He generally doesn't signal and switches lanes on the highway
very frequently. He always seems to want to "get ahead" of everyone else, even when we are not in a
hurry. He passes on a two lane road, many times to get ahead of more than one car. He occasionally makes
what I consider a dangerous left hand turn (and I am on the passenger side), so I am frightened that either
I've just had it! H is on day whatever of not going to work. I just looked at his paycheck online for the past two weeks. 8 hours total (not like its a shock because I snooped online at his hours and that's all it was going to be even though it SHOULD be 4 days because that's how many days he left the house in the morning!) and after taxes and what they could salvage for child support payments he ended up with a whopping total of $20.08! He currently has $15 in the bank and that's it. So he is going to live on $35 for the next 2 weeks and try to explain to me why that's all he has!
I just don't know what else to do to get through to him! If I try to approach it civilly, like a few nights ago I said to him that I NEED him to go to work and make money, his response was not "Yes I'm sorry and I will do that from now on" or actually talk to me about what the problem is but it was "I'm going to be a monk and move up into the mountains". It's just all fun and games! I KNOW he's been lying to me about going to work but he sure won't admit to it.
As I've posted here before, we are thinking about moving to a new house and renting our current one. Financially we're fine; I work full-time and make a good salary, and my credit rating is very good.
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