Recent forum posts (all topics)

I am sure my story will read like so many others, but last night I was called a "piece of sh?t" by my boyfriend (he is 49 )  because I asked him why he walked out of the room to text or Facebook or something.  His daughter was right there and she in only 9 years old.  This is from a man that when I met him obviously was in hyper-focus mode, he adored me, can't imagine life without me, loves me like no other, blah blah blah... I He has indicated he thought he has ADHD, but when I said I think he does he denies it and says I am crazy.   His son has ADHD and also doctors indicated maybe in the

I have been working very hard to change my thinking as well as what I say, to my ADHD husband as far as "expectations" are concerned. Melissa's book talks about this and so do other books, as well as this forum, and many other sources of information on ADHD. I have to get a new copy of Melissa's book, because I can't find my first copy, and it's been a while since I read it.......so I TOTALLY need to re-read it again.

Guys, 

I am married to someone who might have ADD, but has never been diagnosed (to my knowledge).  His mother passed away and I suspect that there may have been some psychological assessments early in my husband's life (based on things my mother in law said), but my husband doesn't know what his diagnoses were.  In the meantime, he is not very keen on getting tested for anything and we cannot afford counseling.  I've looked for counseling on a sliding scale in my area, but we cannot make the hours work and my husband doesn't want to go anyway.  

I can't do everything. I feel like I have to do everything. I'm here after years of therapy, trying new tactics, and holding out hope. Maybe typing this all out will help, maybe it won't. I have a young son who is too young to tell if he is affected with ADHD, too, and regardless I have to try. My husband has ADHD and I have not come to realize the full extent of what that means until recently. I am not faultless. I'm here in this situation by my own doings and my own ignorance.

Just recently went through a horrendous time that started out with what would seem as a somewhat inocuous, but hurtful, situation.  Husband, who was diagnosed with ADHD several months ago, sent me an email that included a poem he had decided to write to a young female coworker, who had a miscarriage late in pregnancy.  There's a little more history to this than I present, but nothing previous to this was hugely inappropriate.

When a animal is not loved and cared for, but rather  ignored and left alone, it does not thrive. It may become ill and it may die from inattention and disconnection.   When a person is ignored and taken for granted she can derive some comfort from memories of her youth where love and attention were given to her and she was seen and heard and acknowledged.  But after years of inattention and lack of care and feeling invisible and unappreciated, a person's heart and soul and even physical body are laid to waste and wane just like an unattended puppy.

I have an example of something that happened between my ADHD husband and myself, so I'll tell that story and then ask a question. The last counselor my husband and I went to, told each of us to name 10 things that we LIKE about each other, and explain them. She was trying to help us each see the "good" in each other instead of seeing negative things. So, when we got home, I told my husband the 10 things I really liked about him, and told him why those things were special to me.

Our house is for sale.   I am cleaning, fixing, organizing all around the house inside and out.  And getting things ready for company for the 4th of July.  He said he is going to plant potatoes today.  Our garage and sheds are messy and dirty with mounds of stuff that needs to be thrown out and cleaned out.  He is in the woods pulling out an area of grasses and weeds slowly as though he has nothing else better to do in the world, like he is appreciating each and every plant - making piles and piles of weeds.  He said he is making a place to PLANT A POTATO PATCH!!!!!