Recent forum posts (all topics)

So, I got duped by hyperfocus husband. My own husband said "I feel like I tricked you". I don't know if I'll ever get over that betrayal. All I know is that my real husband has qualities that I don't even like to be around. I can't be around miserable, negative people. They drag me down without having to say a word. He won't change. He won't change. He will never change. He's not like me. He has no reason to be the way he is, he just is. He has so much to be happy about, but he is just him. Negative and thinks the world owes him. I can't change him. His son can't change him. 

In the 3 months I've known my boyfriend it's become increasingly apparent that he probably has ADHD. Whoever here said ADHD people think of time in terms of "now" and "not now" helped me a great deal. Just saw him again after being out of touch nearly a month, during which I was a mess, wondering whether he was gone for good. He was just busy and we're fine.

I have ADD. I am currently engaged and together we have been trying to work together to be the best we can be. The goal is to build a strong healthy relationship. As with any couple, fights occur and disagreements happen. I am medicated and I am in counseling attempting to minimize the damage I cause to the relationship. I stumbled across this website looking for ideas, input and in general help about actively and successfully communicating with my partner. Unfortunately, at least in this particular forum, I seem to have ran into a a lot of negative viewpoints.

My bf texted me Saturday morning that he drove up to his family's lake house 8 hours away and would not be helping me move the next day. He was acting distant for a couple days before. I have known him for 8 years and we have been together for over 3. I just helped him move last month, and I just moved to the same town he's in. Thank God my uncle is such a great person because otherwise it would have been me and my dad. Bf wouldn't pick up the phone when he texted me because he was 'in the car with his family.' He said he would call later and didn't.

The lies and deceit kill me.  And some of the things he says.  Its incredulous that he thinks I believe all the stuff he says.  And sometimes he lies to other people in order to cover up a mistake.  Its like he is trying to project an image of being perfect. 

I have been told by a professional counselor that I may have an "overzealous concern making things right for others". I was not that way before marriage and family.  I remember myself being very independent, possibly even self centered.  How did I get to be the exact opposite of what i started out to be?  Our first years saw me expecting dh to do the financial responsibilities and me the home and family responsibilities.  When the financial thing just didn't happen from him, I thought I HAD to pick it up.  I expected a commitment to the marriage and family by both of us.

 

In marriage or in any close relationship, don't you expect to get some feedback from your "other"

when he (or she) acts upon some suggestion you've made? It doesn't even have to be a suggestion. Could be a simple thought expressed... anything (examples are failing me)

My husband was diagnosed almost three years ago.  He went through different stimulants which did not work particularly well for him then on a higher dose of one of them he seemed to suffer some nerve damage.  One side of his face went numb and has not entirely recovered 2 years later.  He has been on Strattera since.  He says he has felt a little more in control at work, but at home I don't know if the meds are that effective.  He is still twitchy and constantly looking for stuff to do (everything but face our marital problems).  What other medications are out there?