Recent forum posts (all topics)

I suppose that I just need to accept that my husband is not going to seek any outside advice wrt his ADD.  He has a short temper and tantrums like a baby when he is tired.  For example, tonight he said that he was going to cook dinner.  There was no paprika, which he needed for the dish he wanted to make, so with passive-aggressive tactics he let me know what a failure of a spouse I was and how I couldn't do anything right.  I am home all day while he is working--- not by my choice, longer story there--- and he expects me to do all the things that he doesn't want to do.

Why does my husband do this? My husband is a bit of a know-it-all.  He will go on and on about something for which there really is no reason for him to know that much about the particular hting he is talking about because he's never had much experience with it or anything...I feel like "I don't know" is not part of his vocabulary but it should be a part of everyone's vocabulary! How hard is it to stop and consider "I don't really know the answer to that with certainty" and to respond "I dont know"? It is particularly frustrating when it comes to things that relate to my line of work.

Going to use this thread to note some of the interactions which used to get added to the blur which has been my married life for the past 10 years. These are not sources of angst or any sort of commentary against add or any of the other diagnoses which might be applicable, simply observations by one woman who is trying to be herself in the midst of an atmosphere which makes no sense to me.

I have posted here before, and described something of my journey with what I thought was my partner's ADHD; I have been through thinking there were breakthroughs. I have moved onto other attributions, including the ever relevant 'co-dependence' perspective. What I did not expect to realise is that the truest match of all is NPD/malignant narcissism. It has been a lightbulb moment that makes sense of all else, and makes much better sense of it too.

Saturday I got super PO'd at my ex when I found he hadn't wipes his son's butt good enough. I mean, I went into major shut down mode. I haven't said two words to him since. 

Well, today, Monday, my son pooped himself again. I took him downstairs to clean it and my ex met us in the bathroom. I told him he can either take it from here or let me do it. He took care of it, but once my kid came back upstairs I decided to check how clean he was. Well, I had to use two wipes to get him totally clean. There was even a visible brown spot when I started. 

My DH has been diagnosed with ADHD from when he was a child. He was on medication but then stopped. We have been married for 6 yrs, together for 10- we have 2 children ages 4 and 2. About 5 yrs ago he went back to the dr to go back on adder all because he was having problems focusing on work. He was doing ok and then he was diagnosed with diabetes ( type 1 ) . Between our piling up medical bills, our house and his parents finances he seemed to just spiral. I guess he always had some anger issues and he always feels he knows the right way to do things.

Sept 1 will be my 18 yr anniversary and ALL I can do is keep thinking how can I escape this nightmare? 99% sure my husband is ADHD. He fits all of the typical symptoms (too long to go into). Our 16 yr old daughter has been diagnosed ADHD & she is nearly identical to her father's behavior. My 15 yr old shows tendencies of ADHD but not to the extent of her older sister. So what brings me here? Desperation I guess...I am struggling to hold this household together for the sake of my girls. I have to navigate 3 ADHD personalities and I have to admit I am failing.

I have been reading and learning and trying to turn my attention back to me and what I need to do to survive this (vs what she needs to do). But it is so hard when she continues to learn nothing and keeps putting me in unhealthy dynamics...namely parent/child dynamic....for which I am really trying hard to work against! So here is where this week worked out: WE have been in the middle of buying our home, where we live and run our business from (a child development school). It has been a very long process with many delays (not good for someone with ADHD in terms of holding their focus).

Hi - my husband and I are reading through Melissa's book about the ADHD Effects on Marriage (loving it - such a relief to have these issues finally explained) and I'm just wondering - how different are the seminars from the book? Do the seminars provide more/different information or are they based on the books but expanded with more anecdotes, etc? More detailed info on the seminars would be appreciated. I checked out the info on this site about the seminars but maybe I missed something?

Thanks.

I'm throwing out a question here about anger. My ADHD husband is getting better about his anger issues, but he still takes serious offense because many people think he "looks angry".  People find him hard to approach because his facial expression and body posture make him look like he is mad and angry about something. He's complained about this before, and YELLS (which doesn't help) "I'm NOT ANGRY"..."I'm just thinking about lots of things",  and I've told him that I've had the same reaction with not talking to him at certain times because he indeed SEEMS very angry.