Recent forum posts (all topics)

We've been married for 20 years but just now beginning to realize that the reasons I feel miserable about our marriage and unloved may have more to do with my wife's undiagnosed ADD than anything else. On one hand its a relief - offers hope that something can be done - on the other anxiety about failure.

My bf of four years cheated on me twice. Once while drunk(although he was texting while not drunk too) and once online(he was telling her he loved her and texting her behind my back as well) we have split up and gotten back together many, many times. I keep giving him chances that he probably doesn't deserve. I feel like I am his mother more than his common law wife. He tells me he loves me and that I am his world. He says he doesn't love those other girls.

I don't think that I've ever posted before, but I read quite regularly.  I am the non add spouse - my husband was diagnosed about 3 yrs ago, though I knew fairly quickly into our marriage that add was an issue.  We've been married 15 yrs and things started out pretty rocky as neither one of us had very good relationship skills or role models (his parents were active alcoholics who fought constantly prior to divorcing, mine where conflict avoiders who didn't fight at all until until divorcing) and we had some difficult challenges very early on that lead to some trust issues on both sides we

My OP has been deleted to protect my husband's feelings. All of your responses were welcome and appreciated — so much that I immediately purchased the book.  Now he may come across these forums and I do not want to leave evidence that might be interpreted as mean spirited or unkind.

Thanks for all of your support, everyone! Great to know I'm not alone.

I am a 40 year old male that was diagnosed (family physician) with ADD earlier this year. I just recently was officially diagnosed through an ADHD psychologist. I have been on meds for several months. Unfortunately I did not do much research when I was initially diagnosed and figured the meds would take care of it. This created every one of the marital patterns Melissa describes in her book on both myself and wife's part. They have been present of course since before I was diagnosed but not recognized or dealt with at all.

Hi

I have been reading from this forum for a few weeks now because I really needed help to understand how I have been feeling for the past few years.

I am 61 years old my husband is 65. We met when I was 17 and have been married for 42 years. We had 2 daughters age 41 and 39 and 2 granddaughters.

Last December, my daughter called me and asked if we can take care of our 15 year old granddaughter. Of course we said yes because we were aware of the problems they have been having.

My ADD husband has made me start questioning myself and my own needs - his rebuttals are often off topic or specific to one tiny literal detail of a conversation. I am going in circles in my head - am I making this all up, overreacting, crazy?  Do I need to continue to be accused of an affair (which is a ridiculous notion) every time I make plans with friends?  The only time I do anything social (he refuses) or for myself?!?  Do I need to constantly nag him?  Do I need to drop everything to help him find his wallet or phone for the 5th time this week?

My husband has ADHD and I am so relieved to have found this resource! One thing that I have difficulty with is that I always seem to have to change plans to suit him. We can have something on the schedule for months in advance, and when the event arrives, especially if it is something that I have showed interest in, it always seems that something that is more important to him comes up, or he decides that he doesn't want to do anything at all.  I am feeling as though my wants and needs don't matter anymore and I am losing touch with things that I enjoy.