Recent forum posts (all topics)

Name Calling

This is my first post here. My husband is not diagnosed but both he and I believe he has ADHD. I'm trying to deal with symptoms, one being hurtful name calling when he gets frustrated. This applies to both me and his mom. For example, two days ago we were going to go pick up our car from the shop. I had asked him if he had his wallet, and then got distracted by putting our dogs outside. As we walked into the garage I asked him again if he had his wallet and he responded "Are you okay?" And I was like "Yeah, I am..." not realizing I had asked the question twice.

New here but desparate

Hello. I am new to this forum. I have ADHD that comes with some pretty severe RSD. (rejection sensitive dysphoria) I feel like these things are ruining my life and my marriage. I have a great team of healthcare professionals and a wonderful therapist. I take my medication faithfully and eat right and exercise and go to therapy regularly. My husband and I see a marriage therapist as well. I am doing all the things, but am feeling very hopeless because it doesn't seem to be making a difference (mostly in my marriage).

Something that helped me this weekend

Hello, all.  

The last time I posted an update, I said I was doing pretty well.  And I was.  I had been doing pretty well for awhile, despite any real change in our marriage and definitely no change in his adhd management.  Plus the adhd kids we have here add another layer of adhd stuff.  But I was doing alright, for quite awhile.  I thought I had figured some things out, solved some things.  Turns out - no.  I am TIRED of the struggle.  Soooo sick of it.  But I am not leaving, so neither is the struggle.    

ADHD and sex

I am wondering how many other spouses of ADHD partners experience problems in sex stemming from ADHD. It has been a revelation to me that my problems with my husband are connected to this. It seems he is either hyper focusing, or his attention wanders from me. He seems to get very consumed with his own sensations, and the connection to me drops. This is similar to what happens often in daily life. He is unaware that the connection has dropped in all cases. During sex this is particularly weird for me. I felt he was being unloving and selfish.

Abuse

The subject of abuse has come up repeatedly on the forum lately.

I am taught to draw a sharp line at physical violence. That is unacceptable.

The thing is, about other ways of causing pain, I'm not certain how to differ abuse from non-abuse. For instance, a non-ADHD partner keeping a cautious distance, letting distaste show, not being in love, seems to be devastating to the partner's self-esteem and even health. Voicing needs, with increasing tone of voice over time when needs are never met, causes conflict and deep-felt chronic stress in the ADHD partner. Is that abuse?

How do I hold husband accountable & not get so angry when he brings up spending time together & then doesn’t follow through?

As I write this I'm yet again in a scenario that has been the most common theme and reoccurring argument my husband and I have had for years. 

Plz help me understand my friend with ADHD

Hello Everyone. I have a dear friend with ADHD whom I see almost every day walking our dogs. I'm the non-ADHD person. I'm trying to understand how ADHD affects her communication and also some behaviors. She is a dear friend but sometimes I feel exhausted after spending time with her and trying to figure out what her point is. Sometimes what she says or does feels rude but I don't think that is her intention. So here are some questions I have. Feel free to focus on one or two or as many as you want. I value your sharing what you know. 

Overwhelmed and Need Help

Hi. I (30M, diagnosed ADHD) and my girlfriend (36F) have had multiple arguments over this and I want to see if I’m being unreasonable. For background, my girlfriend and I have very different "social battery" levels, with her almost constantly having plans and me wanting a lot of alone time. We frequently butt heads regarding this and I usually end up having to go to every event unless I'm ill (which does happen frequently - I also get migraines once or twice a week).

Pages