Hi All,
I am posting my story in hope that someone may be able to provide some guidance and words of wisdom?
My wife has recently been diagnosed by a psychologist with ADHD.
Together: 16 years (Married 11 years)
Children x 2 under 6
Announced Jan 2022 that she was done with the relationship
Brief History
How do I tell my husband, I think he has ADHD?
I was late diagnosed with ADHD in my early 30s and am still trying to adjust, adapt and improve my life and my self-esteem. This has been extremely challenging with my diagnosis coming after a child and all the maternal worries, guilt and anxieties with that. I have had previous treatment for anxiety.
However, I thought I would have support from my partner post-diagnosis. I know it isn't an easy journey but (wrongly) thought he would be there helping and supporting. This hasn't been the case.
Seeking help, because I'm questioning my sanity and reality. Non-adhd spouse. Very soon to be ex-spouse. After 3 years, last month I put a firm boundary in place and have stayed true to it this time. After years of being yelled at, sworn at, public scenes, this has come to an end for me.
My spouse has taken this news from one extreme to the other. From literally rolling around on the floor sobbing (zero coping mechanisms) to sarcasm and continued criticism.
Why is it that I get so motivated to do anything right when my husband is angry at me? It's as if someone's anger powers me to do tasks and responsibilities around the house. It's a problem I have been for years, but only considered it just recently.
Hi. Historically I have been bad with money matters - always going over budget, spending impulsively on food, etc. I have a budgeting spreadsheet but somehow I am still struggling with how to manage our finances. I am a housewife who does the groceries while my husband works for both of us. It is weird that someone like me who might have ADHD is managing groceries every month, but no one else can since my husband goes to work. Monthly my husband berates me for committing the same errors -- just today he got mad at me again for the same reason.
I am glad I found this site - the last few days have been an awakening to what ADHD relationships are like and it feels like I am not so alone and many others are living the same experience.
This is my second marriage - the first ending in an affair and betrayal after 10 years of being together. I went from a narcissist to one with ADHD, great choices.
I am new to this blog. I am a 29yo F who has ADD on medications. My partner and I have know each other for ten years and have been married for 3. I have come to realize that my partner has severe undiagnosed adhd. I thought I was disorganized and spacey until I began living with him. When we dated I did pick up red flags, messy apartment, survived on take-out and dependent on his mom for many chores. Of course love is blind and I figured that he would grow out of these bad habits. Wrong. Things honestly started right after moving in together. We did not live together before marriage.
Today I hit a low point. The last ten days, it has become clear that
1) Whenever a decision needs to be made for the home or family, I need to make that decision without involving my ADD husband. This is because he now gets so aggravated by being asked what he prefers. And
How can I extend love and warmth to a husband who is so hard to love?
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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