Recent forum posts (all topics)

I live in a state of perpetual anger, sadness, and loneliness and find this site frustrating. Why? Because the information though very good and right on the mark, however it is useless in this household. It doesn't seem to make a dent in my husbands behavior or attitude. There is a lot of lip service about "communicating better, paying attention to me, doing what he says..." but there is a consistent lack of action. How can any of this stuff work if the words only penetrate through the eyes and not into the brain or heart. I am ready to scream and wish I could run away.

I have tried and tried to be patient with my fiance who has ADD but I am tired. Tired of the disappearing acts, aka lack of communication (we currently do not live together), tired of the excuses, he is swamped with work to do (which is code for don't expect a peep out of him for who knows how long but he has plenty of time to be on Facebook all hours of the day and night posting useless things or responding to anyone and everyone that posts on there. I have been catching him in lies lately, ofcourse he denies everything and tells me I am over reacting.

I have a question for every single person on this blog.  How do you DEAL with the constant lying???  My husband will lie about ANYTHING!  When he gets mad at me he will take off on his motorcycle and not come back for hours.  AND THIS MAN IS 60 YEARS OLD!!!  It used to upset me to the point of tears, but that was decades ago and now I am usually glad to see him go because I have my own motorcycle and can do the same thing...but I am rambling.   When he comes back he will lie about where he has gone.  He will say that he "went by" someone's house, but it will turn out that he went BY this ho

...and in the darkness I saw that the bedroom door was open.  It struck me as odd, because I always keep it closed at night.  Just then, my wife leaned over me and gave me a little kiss.  She quietly went around to the other side of the bed, climbed in under the covers and fell asleep curled up next to me.

Then I woke up.  It was just a dream.  The door was closed.  I was alone in bed.

What a perfectly lonely feeling.

Pb.

My DH finally started his meds today and is no longer resistant to some type of life coach or something, so progress.  However it took him 7 years to get to this point.  The stress and anger we have with each other is going to take a LOOOONG time to work through however.  We both want this to be worked out and it seems he finally understands how his behavior effects me.

My husband just spent an hour and a quarter on his hygiene (showering, etc.).  He's a guy!  He doesn't do anything special (shave, put on make-up).  And he says he doesn't have time to look for a job!

Hello. My name is Jessyka. I was recently diagnosed with ADD in June; I was prescribed Concerta and I meet with a therapist once a week to work on my issues. I have been feeling like things are getting a little better. However, its that time of year again-- College-- and I've lost that initial enthusiasm. The Concerta was "sort of" helping my symptoms. Each Doctor visit my psychiatrist has upped my concerta. Now though I have classes, and my work-study job, on top of being a wife.

My hopes for a normal relationship with my ADHD husband is far beyond my self...I always try to make the best out of the best of times with him...he would be good for about 10 days or so then the same things would repeat it self over and over again...I am so tired and hurt,all my life I have been let down by my friends and family and then the only thing that might look up as genuine or a secure relationship( is a disaster)..My husband is/was to be my main source of happiness and comfort,which is sometimes there but then the bad side never seize to show up..

I thought I'd start a create a new thread on this topic, which has been getting a lot of play on another thread lately.  

I wonder if my husband, who has ADHD, has a hard time finishing tasks not only because of the attention/focus issue but also because of perfectionism.  It seems that he might be thinking, "If something is to be considered done, it must be perfect."  And, as we all know, the state of perfection is nearly impossible to reach.  So, by not finishing, one is also avoiding whatever feelings are experienced when things are not perfect.  Any thoughts about this?

DH seems to be OK with just a hello and goodbye relationship if I weren't trying to get his attention some times....in good and bad ways.  When we talk, it feels like I have to help him get words out. All his responses are thought out for a LONG time (me waiting to hear what he is going to say). I am left with the wondering, Have we done this suspecting/frustration/hurt dance I do to his concealing/diverting/dismissing routine for such a long time that we get deeper and deeper in our negative expectations of each other and it gets worse and worse?