Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi everyone.

I haven't been posting much since my initial start with this online forum, nor even been reading much.

I can't stand him. (Him being my ADD husband.) We have made zero progress. I am so fed up. Exhausted.

I just want him to be quiet!!!!!

I looked for this forum out of sheer desperation.  I am SOOOOOOOOOOO... fed up with my husband.  I am not even sure if/how much I care anymore.  I didn't get married until my late 40s and had been a single, independent, professional woman until then.  I adopted a couple of children along the way on my own and our life was good - not perfect, but comfortable.  I married to enhance my life and share it with someone.  What I have gotten instead is a whirlwind of chaos, embarrassment and shame in this sham of a marriage.  It feels crazy.

Holy Cow, I just had a light bulb moment.  My ADHD BF normally pounds tripple, tripple coffee, sports drinks or in the evening has a couple of drinks.  I despise the chemical taste of sports drinks and about three weeks ago asked him if he noticed that whenever he drinks them we ended up in a spat.  I didn't realize until right now, he has actually stopped drinking them and has leveled out tremendously in terms of temperament.

Not sure what the scientific side of things is but am sure they have a negative affect.

Hi All!

My daughter is ADD not ADHD and we went to see  a speaker on it, just happened to be Dr. Hallowell! Low and behold as we were finding out things it was dawning on me this is my hubby as well.  He's been diagnosed as clinically depressed because of his anger outbursts but from hearing Dr. Hallowell and reading on Adult ADHD I believe he is depressed and ADHD as well.

I found this on the internet and thought a few of us could benefit by reading it over and over.  I will.

"Sally's husband was often abusive. One morning, over breakfast, Hank began yelling at her because she was on the phone instead of keeping him company. Later, after Hank went to work, Sally picked up his shirts from the laundry, ran some other errands for him, and decided to cook his favorite dish for dinner.  Do you think Sally did the right thing?

I do want to cry right now out of frustration, but my main issue that I feel unable to resolve is my childish husbands rollercoaster of an attitude with my daughter.  A little background, he has two children from a previous marriage he is unable to have consistent contact with and hasn't seen in over a year.  Me and my daughter have moved to Australia with him and now are expecting another child due in a month. 

Are the meds just for making the adhd slow down so that they can concentrate better and remember stuff? Or do they in any way help with the other huge problem area (at least for our marriage), the coldness and the lack of empathy? I would obviously be happy if my hubby suddenly became more responsible and I would have to help him less. I just don't think that would save our marriage. He is so cold and feels no remorse over his lack of compassion and loving. He is really unfair, loading his life on my shoulders and not giving anything back.

My husband had diagnosed ADD but untreated due to having no insurance. He spends money like crazy, he leaves cabinet doors open and stuff all over the house. He can't clean anything without being reminded 24 times and without me providing a list. He lost my antique engagement ring (my grandmothers) 2 years ago and still insists some lady has it and just wont ship it. My household tools disappear (dremel, saws etc) with no explanation. We dont have sex because it just never crosses his mind. The symptoms and stressors are endless and im at my wits end.

I am the ADHD spouse! I have made a lot of mistakes but I really am not a spiteful, mean, liar, lazy, and all the other names I've been called by my non-ADHD. He is the one who found this site and told me about it because of something's that has happened in our marriage. A lot has happened in our marriage, according to him it's all my fault. Nobody is can never disagree with him. If someone does like his mother it's because "she is always on the other person's side." I have to accept and agree to everything he says otherwise the name calling and arguing begins!

I feel I am out of options and in desperate need of advice.

My ADHD husband informed me today that he hates his meds, stopped them and will not go back on ANY, as he only did it for me anyway.  The meds were not doing anything anyway, but he will not even try anything else.  The fact that he was taking them for only me is sitting bad with me, when will he ever do anything to improve HIS life.