Recent forum posts (all topics)

I will never leave my wife. I will never give up. That is just the way I am made. I sometimes wish I wasn't though. Life with an ADHD wife (for over 15 years) has been very difficult although I love her deeply. Emotional explosions over the smallest things, her hyper focusing on the things that are wrong and not the positives, and the verbal tongue lashings she dishes out push me to the edge on a regular basis. We had a great friendship and intimate life until we had children.

Hi everyone,

This is my first post though I have read through many of the posts in these forums. I had a huge post that just got eaten somehow, so this one will be much more brief...

"""because I love him I am going to try and work things out,because he is only good a few days in a month I would stay with him,because he takes me out I would stay with him,because he helps me financially twice a year,because because because."""

these were my excuses!! those were my words, to my Mother,friends and family.I read a lot of post here and one in particular says that "we are in control of our OWN HAPPINESS" that is sooo true! we are.

My whole life, I was working for LOVE and FAMILY.  I never thought I needed to work for respect, especially from people in my family who were SUPPOSED to love me and have my back.  I even had the idea that RESPECT was something tough and rough people demanded and that demanding respect was not being loving and partnering. That, in my case did not work.  There are lots of self-centered people out there who see a loving, giving person as a schmck and opportunity to play puppet-master with them.

I live in a state of perpetual anger, sadness, and loneliness and find this site frustrating. Why? Because the information though very good and right on the mark, however it is useless in this household. It doesn't seem to make a dent in my husbands behavior or attitude. There is a lot of lip service about "communicating better, paying attention to me, doing what he says..." but there is a consistent lack of action. How can any of this stuff work if the words only penetrate through the eyes and not into the brain or heart. I am ready to scream and wish I could run away.

I have tried and tried to be patient with my fiance who has ADD but I am tired. Tired of the disappearing acts, aka lack of communication (we currently do not live together), tired of the excuses, he is swamped with work to do (which is code for don't expect a peep out of him for who knows how long but he has plenty of time to be on Facebook all hours of the day and night posting useless things or responding to anyone and everyone that posts on there. I have been catching him in lies lately, ofcourse he denies everything and tells me I am over reacting.

I have a question for every single person on this blog.  How do you DEAL with the constant lying???  My husband will lie about ANYTHING!  When he gets mad at me he will take off on his motorcycle and not come back for hours.  AND THIS MAN IS 60 YEARS OLD!!!  It used to upset me to the point of tears, but that was decades ago and now I am usually glad to see him go because I have my own motorcycle and can do the same thing...but I am rambling.   When he comes back he will lie about where he has gone.  He will say that he "went by" someone's house, but it will turn out that he went BY this ho

...and in the darkness I saw that the bedroom door was open.  It struck me as odd, because I always keep it closed at night.  Just then, my wife leaned over me and gave me a little kiss.  She quietly went around to the other side of the bed, climbed in under the covers and fell asleep curled up next to me.

Then I woke up.  It was just a dream.  The door was closed.  I was alone in bed.

What a perfectly lonely feeling.

Pb.

My DH finally started his meds today and is no longer resistant to some type of life coach or something, so progress.  However it took him 7 years to get to this point.  The stress and anger we have with each other is going to take a LOOOONG time to work through however.  We both want this to be worked out and it seems he finally understands how his behavior effects me.

My husband just spent an hour and a quarter on his hygiene (showering, etc.).  He's a guy!  He doesn't do anything special (shave, put on make-up).  And he says he doesn't have time to look for a job!