Recent forum posts (all topics)

Non-ADHD husband needing help

Hello.  First time here.  I have been married for 11 years but the last four have been really rocky.  I was deployed from 2008-2009. When I returned I felt more lonely and isolated.  Wife would constantly spending less time with me and more time with friends.  I told her I wanted to go to Vegas for years and when I returned she went with her friends. She constantly says I am angry and she is tired of me complaining about her lateness, money, intimacy , and not cleaning.  We were in. Counseling which didn't work.

Marriage, ADHD, and Sadness

I was married several weeks ago and my husband's ADHD is sending me into a terribly sad space.  I feel over burdened... like the parent in the relationship, and since I left my life behind bc we had to move to his community for work and family, I feel isolated.  He has gone to start treatment, but I can't stop being sad.  Honeymoon was awful... I might as well not have been there since he just wanted to play computer games.  He is a lovely, fun and generous man.

Act Before it's Too Late

For all the ADHD spouses reading this, please listen. If you have it, think you have it, or just show the traits, please don't wait to make things right.  Explain what you're going through to your spouse and ask for patience and empathy. See, I didn't do that. It's going to cost me my beautiful wife and two kids. Sure they're not gone, but those bonds are. Our brains are different, not worse, just different. Do nice things for your spouse, break the cycle of bickering and fighting. Learn to stop and think things through.

What belongs on the list to measure progress?

My ADHD husband claims he is working hard and is frustrated that I don't give him credit for his accomplishments. He also claims he doesn't want to bother working at this because he has no guarantee I will stay with him after he works so hard.  This last bit seems almost like he is attempting to induce guilt -  however, it is not working. 

I am continually frustrated at things that don't change.  An example, he believes he is not angry all the time  yet I see him angry all the time.

How the heck do we measure the progress?   

 

 

All Of The Above

We started out getting marriage counseling, but I ended up quitting when my husband stated that because of my poor relationship with my father I had no respect for him. I blew up. The therapist asked me why I was so upset when my husband was simply stating how he felt. I didn't answer her question. I felt that since this woman was a professional who allegedly specializes in addiction and ADHD in teens and adults that she should recognize a manipulative ploy when she saw one. My husband is the sole breadwinner.

Questions for ADDers

My BF is adhd and we are in a really good place in our relationship.  On the weekend he got really frustrated because he had left a package behind while shopping.  He blamed leaving the package on my interrupting him when he was concentrating on something else (which I did) and had a bit of a hissy fit.  It genuinely didn't upset me.  I recognized his frustration for what it was and we talked it through without it snowballing.

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