New 2 forum, need tips keeping lovin' ADD husband!
Hi all!
Hi all!
Hi Everyone. First time posting, so sorry if this topic has been addressed before.
I'm a spouse of an ADHD husband (married 9 years)... I love him dearly and we've been through a real lot together. It really helps our situation that I'm a very laid back, very patient individual. I understand adhd top to bottom, have done extensive research on it and understand it fully.
I haven't posted in a LONG time because things have been going relatively well. I have learned to be more empathetic about certain behaviors and nag and criticize less, and my wife has been working really hard on managing her ADHD, including taking her meds and seeing a therapist. We have read Melissa's book and attempt to use some of the techniques contained therein, including doing learning conversations when we find ourselves going in circles.
This is one of the worst conflicts we have. If you know you have to do something, what is the benefit of putting it off?
I am desperate and feel that my 13 year marriage is on the brink of divorce. My husband found out a few years ago that he has ADHD (our 7 year old son was diagnosed shortly thereafter with PDD/NOS and ADHD). I purchased a copy of Melissa's book on the ADHD Effect on Marriage in the hopes that it would help us (well, just me for now). My husband is on medication now but everyday starting usually around noon, his meds seem to wear off and he is very quick to anger and verbal abuse. Today, he asked me.. "So, what's wrong?
I have been in a 2 1/2 year relationship with someone I love. There is no doubt in that. But he has ADD and I have trouble reconciling who he wants to be with who he actually is.
In the spirit of the holiday (which really should happen at least once a week), I'd like to post a gratitude about my spouse, and encourage others to do the same. Many counselors and "happiness" experts recommend a gratitude journal to keep life in perspective.
I am grateful for knowing and loving a man who is so often upbeat and positive about our life.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE.
Newfdogswife
Well Where to start?
I have been trawling this site (what a godsend it is) for the best part of 4 days and nights (as time and energy will allow at least). I thought it was time I joined to find some support for myself and to try and gain some insight into my deeply distressing situation.
A bit of back history for you
Disclaimer: All of this applies to BOTH spouses - I only address it here in this way because so many ADHDers, guys in particular, are working on their ADHD, but their spouses have already checked out and won't give an inch or join the party.