Recent forum posts (all topics)

Something strange has happened in my marriage and I need some advice / possible explanation/help understanding:  First some background -  My husband has ADHD, he was diagnosed with it when he was a child.  He does not take medication and flat out refuses to go to therapy.  We have been married 7 years, most of which have been very difficult.  When we were dating I was his focus, we would spend time together, he adored me, he would spoil me with extravagant gifts.  Once we were married and moved in together things began to unravel.  He didn’t help with the household chores, spent a tremendou

I was just browsing while we were on vacation and found this site.... i honestly never thought my husbands adhd could be the cause of our problems... but as i began to read ... it was like a movie of my life.  We have been married for 5 years.  I was married before and he unfortunately commited suicide.  I was young and we were not together for a very long time but still a painful thing to go through at such a young age (18).  Im going to jump straight into things because i honestly have no one to talk to about these issues....no one....

I am new to the forum, and the ADHD diagnosis is new to my husband. The conversation began for us in earnest 2 years ago, when his defenses were down and I took the opportunity to suggest he might have a learning disability. He admitted he had also wondered if he might have an LD, and said he'd like to be tested. The results indicated that he didn't have an LD, but revealed a primary diagnosis of clinical depression and secondary ADHD.

It's really good and I think it will help some of you awesome people.

 

http://vimeo.com/10756436

 

 

So I've been sitting here for a couple of hours reading a lot of posts about chore wars and power struggles and the resulting resentment.  I'm the non-ADD spouse, but I differ from many here in that I don't mind picking up after my ADD wife.  I'm not talking about her work things or clothes, but if she leaves the coffee creamer out on the counter (almost every day), I simply put it away.  If she sweeps the kitchen but leaves the debris in a pile on the floor, I pick it up.  If she leaves all the lights and TV on upstairs even though she's sitting downstairs watching TV, I'll shut them off

My marriage to my ADD wife is at an all time low.  I've read both Melissa Orlov's book and Co-Dependent No More, both which have helped me alot.  I'm really trying to let my wife take charge of herself, however we still live in the same house with two kids, so we have to coexist and coordinate our lives to some extent.  But she is so incredibly passive aggressive and full of shame from carrying around every perceived failure she's ever had in her life that she translates any conversation about the smallest conflict into astounding anger and blame.  I can't express the slightest concern over

Hey people,

Great to subscribe to this forum after a) recently getting diagnosed with ADHD (I'm 39yrs old), b) finally 'getting' what is causing my relationship of 22 (& marriage of 13) yrs to dysfunction as badly as it has done and c) starting focused therapy and medication in a few weeks.

Just to start things off, I'm not actually married to my boyfriend.  Largely because we're a same-sex couple, and there's no marriage equality in the state we live in.  That said, I think this could still be a good resource for me.

I'm new on this forum. I'm a woman with ADHD diagnosed. I've been reading a lot of posts. and I'm realising that there are different expectations for men and women.

I'm in a relationship with a friend who's undiagnosed. We were friends for a few years before. His ADHD is driving me up the wall. I understand the communication issues because I have them but I make the effort especially as we are in a long distance relationship. I've always made an effort with more or less success depending whether medicated or not but I'm aware.

This goes out to those in marriages/relationships either with both partners or one with ADD/ADHD.

I don't know about other individuals, but for myself it seems that when a boundary is set and choice is made to be non-negotiable...the unexpected becomes the expectation of compromising.

What works for some does not work for all. Appeasing the other person with or without ADD/ADHD means that at times we have to compromise ourselves in order to satisfy the other person.