Recent forum posts (all topics)

Violence towards children from ADD Wife

Hi - I'm new here, seeking advice and support on how to deal with violence from my Spouse who a social worker I spoke to thinks is likely ADD.

My wife goes back and forth from being a reasonable patient person to one who speaks in very mean tone and language to the children and at times will hit them.  

I reached my bottom a few days ago after she hit our 7 year old daughter on the back.  I'm against any hitting and in this case, it didn't seem to me that my daughter did anything wrong, just a misinterpretation from my wife.

Is this normal?

When you and your spouse had any sort of long distance between you for a certain length of time, was it common to go days without hearing one thing from them? Then they finally get in contact with you after those few days and act like nothing is wrong...and then they go more days without contact and so on?

Non-ADD partner has lost interest in sex

I've noted a wide variety of posts on this website expressing frustration with sexual intimacy when one partner has ADD.  Most of these seem to fall into two categories.  1) The ADD spouse is so easily distracted that you can't get them to begin sexual intimacy and/or stay engaged after they begin,  2) The ADD spouse (always male in this situation, as far as I've noticed) is such a novelty junkie that he spends a tremendous amount of time on pornography, leaving his wife sexually frustrated, humiliated, and/or disgusted.

Non ADHD dealing with undiagnosed partner

my partner and i have been together 2 years and though he is undiagnosed, he's open to considering that he has adhd and thinks it likely.  the thing is he's not doing anything about it! moving forward is nearly impossible right now - he seems frozen and unable to deal with it.  in the mean time i'm exhausted from trying to get through day to day... carrying the responsibility of everything and falling into the parent/child roles...

Symptoms for Women with ADHD

I am new to ADHD (I'm the non-ADHDer and I believe my husband has ADHD).  I also think his mother is either ADD or ADHD, but I can't seem to find anything about what symptoms women typically have when they are ADHD.  At this point it is not going to help my relationship with her but I am the type of person that needs to understand why things are the way they are and why my husband is the way he is.  I think once he can accept the reality of what is happening to him and maybe understand the "why" as well it will be easier for him to cope.  I also think if I knew that his mother had ADD/ADH

Runaway ADHD Groom

After almost a decade of being together, buying a house, starting our family with our dogs, and three unsuccessful attempts at getting married, we have finally decided to deal with our issues first. Though he is the one that called off the wedding because of the work we have to do in our relationship, I understand and support him in the decision. I am devastated that we are not getting married even though everything was planned and set to go (he called it off within a week and a half from the big day). I am an over achiever, very controlling, and a perfectionist.

Re: What kind of communication is this?

We had another argument about an issue that keeps coming up. We went out to dinner last night, and I was obviously frustrated but was trying to "shake it off". (didn't accomplish it) Anyway, during the entire car ride, dinner, shopping and ride home, my husband talked about himself, his projects, his work and everything else. (as usual) I was getting frustrated because I wanted to talk about something ELSE, anything else, I didn't care, but just something that had to do with ME instead of always having to talking about my husbands interests.

He thinks his ADD behavior must mean he doesn't love me anymore

My husband of almost 8 years has ADD and while he is managing it with medication, so many of these symptoms have played a huge role in disintegrating our marriage. Alcohol and late night partying in loud bars/clubs was used as self medication (he did drugs in college), and he'd do it even knowing I felt ignored, unloved and never a priority in his life. I know why he did it  - he needed to block out all the 50 radio channels in his head and the stress of life - but it sure didn't make me feel important or loved.

Since it's hard to talk to my ADD husband (who's not a member on this site), I wrote a letter (to help me)

Babe,

I try to talk to you, but I don't know how to say how I feel in a manner that you'd understand. I try talking and expressing my feelings only to shutter at the very thought of why I even attempted because I am met with not being understood nor feeling appreciated.  I am afraid you don't want me to say anything unless it's to validate your ADD ways/emotions.  So, because I don't agree?  I don't utter a word.  

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