Recent forum posts (all topics)

I made some off-hand comment today about my DH's therapy, and of course he used it as a jumping off place to direct all his anger at me. I'm working from home today (he is doing some fix-it projects), and he's been storming around here. This is pretty much par for the course for the last 6-8 months. Something sets him off, he storms around, he insists on engaging in some kind of "fight" that is really just him berating and badgering me about all I am doing wrong, and then eventually it calms down. I am so over it.

oof....  I left home today and halfway to work I realized I had not taken my Adderall.  I felt like my brain was a wet sponge.  I made stupid mistakes, thought it was Thursday (instead of tuesday) for an entire hour. Almost got hit by a car crossing a street... And just plain confused/exhausted the whole time.  20 minutes seemed like an hour and by the time I got home and tried to have a conversation with my husband, I couldn't form a sentence.

*sigh*

I have been with my ADHD spouse 22 years (since I was 18).  I had emotional and physical abuse issues from childhood.  When we dated 5 years he seemed very safe, happy, and successful.  His family seemed like a very quirky, happy family.  Although there was divorce, affairs, gambling, drinking, and job loss in his immediate family.  My husband now was overwhelmingly attentive, which I saw as love.  However, I did get "gut feelings" that something wasn't right.  He was extremely involved in sports and we stopped everything for games.  He underestimated his time spent watching sports.

I quit my part-time job today.  In January of 2010, my DH and I discussed some options for me to add some sort of activity to my life.  I had become somewhat depressed that my whole life basically revolved around chores and carting our 3 kids around, and I am not good at doing chores in the first place!  We considered whether I needed a hobby or volunteer position and we settled on a part-time job.  So I started looking.  I had not worked in 10+ years and I had to create a resume, prepare for interviews, etc.  I was very anxious, nervous and insecure!

This weekend my DH was out of town and I accidently set off the house alarm. I was mortified, had no idea how to stop alarm (it is not monitored), but with the help of neighbors got everything under control. The experience left me shaken, however, and brought to light some feelings I have long suppressed.  My husband arrived home in the early morning hours, so when we finally had a chance to talk I was anxious to share my feelings. He, however, remained fixated on what I had done to set off the alarm. I mean he was FIXATED...to the point where he really heard nothing else I was saying.

I let DH take the lead in finding a marriage therapist.  It came down to two people (one male and one female) and only one of them is on our insurance plan, so that made the choice easy. 

DH even called and made the appointment.  This past weekend was absolutely miserable, so I hope this helps!

We are both continuing to see our individual therapists as well.

Hi,

My son had been diagnosed with ADHD, and we started bio neurofeedback treatment on him and this has really helped but not the cheapest . Just wondering if any adults here have used this treatment and has there been a difference. I suspect my husband is very ADHD. I will give him 3 items to go and buy from the shops. He will come home with only 2 items, etc. The list goes on , time management, prioritisation etc.

Thanks

R

My husband is ADHD and in total denial of what this can cause in a marriage. I have been so patient while he goes to therapy and tries to work things out. BUT it is between him and his therapist and it seems that all seems to work on is "ME", This co-dependency is soooo difficult. I have tried to make it his responsibility, but then he complain I am withdrawn and I am not there for him. He spirals down...and causes havoc in my life. I recently told him to leave. He goes through phases of selfishness and then he acts so innocent like this is all my fault.