There are many many many problems that my husband and I have but one is the most bothersome to me. He has ADHD and I have no idea if this has anything to do with it or if this is all him in general. I wanted to explain and see if anyone else has the same issues or remotely similar.
I saw the email from Melissa and I think the studies are right. I have no close friends at all. And as a result of my ADD my wife has no close friends either. It took me a long time to realize how insensitive the things coming out of my mouth were and how they effected others. My wife lost friends and then didn't want me to meet any new friends for fear I would screw it up. I also was so focused on what mattered to me and spoke about it to my friends in conversation, looking back, I did all the talking and they did none so some friend I was!
My DH was diagnosed 2 years ago at age 42, is on Adderrall with good results overall. We have been together 20 years and have a good partnership-best friendship based marriage with fairly good communication. The issue is that I realize I am enabling him at a plateau in his improvement and I now am the only income for the entire family - and it is not enough to support us on the basics. We are living in a house that is in my father's name - we moved in when the 10yo was only 2months old, intending to buy the house & had some money in the bank. My husband had been in real estate for
A little background info first my husband and I have been married for 5 and a half years. Our relationship has had it's ups and downs. We also have a 19 month old son. Since our son was born we have had problems and they kept getting worse. He was never around and his anger towards me was even worse than ever. I took my son and moved out in April so that my son would be out of the house where all the arguments were going on. It was supposed to be a short-term thing, like only 6 weeks max. After I left, my husband cheated on me with our neighbor.
I've lived with my girlfriend for a year, and we've been together for almost three years - so I hope you don't mind that I'm in ADHD and Marriage forum, even while we're not married. Too much of the book resonated with me - and to be honest, we're more committed than a lot of married couples. And if you ask me, ADHD (and all the fallout) is the thing that's keeping me from taking that next step. I'd marry the woman I fell in love with in those first 6-12 months in a heartbeat.
He got diagnosed 3 months ago and I just want him fixed. I'm so tired of lame excuses and want this to end. If I knew he had a brain disease I would never have married him. I am so angry! His medication is not doing its job! He does better at work and with chores around the house but he isn't better otherwise. I found this site looking around for a different medication or something to try. I can't believe what I've been reading about ADHD, I can't believe I married someone with a brain disease that makes him uncaring, lazy, irresponsible, selfish, messy pig!
Married for 4 years (lived together 1.5 years) - Yes our dating and living together was all hyperfocused, now that I've learned about it from this website - but at the time I thought it was love. I (non-ADHD) was diagnosed with cancer, while we were living together - I went through chemo, radiation, surgery, chemo - my husband started drinking (heavily) - at first, I felt guilty because, after all I had cancer, it was stressful to me, I can understand that it must have been pressure for him. I'd mention his drinking, and he would promise to slow down or quit. Didn't happen, promises br
Anyone got tips on how to keep the attention with an ADDer in a long distance relationship?
Natalie
First, my husband is over the IT dept for our city. Small city, but still a decent sized network. Long story short, few months back issues started happening with his servers and it has lead to the discovery of a fairly ugly hacking job and a REALLY ugly worm that he's worked 16+ hour days for WEEKS now trying to battle. Thanks to his ADHD/hyperfocus he would not consider seeking outside help and a couple of time stayed up for 48+ hours working on it.
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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