Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi, reading everyone's posts is so helpful & makes me realise I'm not the only one experiencing the same frustrations. I've been with my husband for 20 years. The penny dropped about 5 years ago that he likely has adhd. It explains so many situations, misunderstandings, arguments, confusions over the years. To cut a long story short, he remains undiagnosed. He is hard-working and a great dad, which makes it so hard to consider leaving. However I'm finding it so hard day to day to feel calm around him.

Hi All,

My husband has ADHD, I'm sure of it, but he won't get diagnosed. I have been doing hours of research on how to deal with this/him, and have learned a lot about myself, and my reactions while doing so

My ADHD partner and I live separately. That's good in some ways as reduces conflict over housework. What maddens me is that when he's decided we've had an argument (it's usually a small bicker that somehow cuts him like a knife) he will withdraw for days on end saying 'let's take a break.' He will message but not pick up the phone. Weekend plans made previously become uncertain. It drive me crazy but when he's in withdrawal I have no option to explain how I feel. Is this really just ADHD or is it just mean? 

My grave ADD husband of 20 years and I have moved back together after three months of living separately. The time apart has made our situation clearer. I have realized I do manage work, the household, the children's activities and Christmas preparations alone, even when sick with the flu for weeks. He has realized his capacity is even smaller than he thought. He cannot make any promises about his contribution to the family long or short term.

I'm a non-ADHD spouse, and my husband started taking 10mg of Adderall about 2 weeks ago. XR during day and IR when that wears off late afternoon. First medication ever, age 52. It is a dramatic difference and we are both relieved and happy with the results so far. Yesterday, however, he felt really unwell and didn't feel "right." We notice that he is forgetting to eat all day/not hungry, is bad about drinking enough water, and last night his daughter didn't sleep well so he was up most of the night. 
 

I'm just learning the effects of having ADHD and the smoking of marijuana. My husband has been smoking since he was 13. He smoked more when he was single, now we have boundaries in place, which he sometimes breaks, and he only smokes three times a month, rather than every weekend. 

He was having trouble sleeping at night and suggested marijuana gummies, which I said yes to not knowing the effects it had of a person that has ADHD. I have them and don't give them to him unless I feel he needs it but I hate treating him like a child.

Hi there,

I'm new to this forum (been a fan of the books for a while though) so this is a shot in the dark.

Can anyone recommend a couples therapist in the UK please?

Ideally they'd have to specialise in on or more of these - ADHD, autism, bipolar, depression, PTSD. 

Many thanks.

Why do I feel like I need to plan, rehearse, then re-plan and rehearse again every conversation I need to have with my diagnosed ADHD spouse?  I never know how his brain will interpret what I am saying (often becomes completely skewed).  I am constantly second-guessing myself and waiting for the right moment to "pitch" what I need to say.  For example, I need some small jobs done around the house which I could get a tradesman for, but they are small jobs that my H is more than capable of doing himself ..

At least since they were 6 or 7, our now-14 ADHD (and other issues) kid has snuck unhealthy food into their room and binged.  For example, a box of chocolates or a gallon of ice cream would disappear and we would eventually find the empty container hidden in their room.  They are vegetarian, but they will not eat most vegetables.  They often eat ramen noodles; mac & cheese; and junk food.  They are still taking food up to their room, leaving uneated food and dirty dishes lying around, and drawing flies.  They also make really bad messes in the kitchen and don't clean them up.

I have been following this forum for years. I have read tons of books on ADHD and Melissa's book is my all-time favorite. I had it underlined with all kinds of notes for many years.