Recent forum posts (all topics)

Question for Melissa

First I want to say thank you for all the advice and support you have given.  I'm not Christian (I'm Buddhist), but I must say you are an angel and have made me see things differently.  I now realize (and the Dalai Lama's teachings help) that I CANNOT change someone else's behavior, I can ONLY change the way that I respond to the behavior.  So thank you.

Married less than a year.

I've only been married to my husband for 10 months (Anniversary is in October) and I've known since we started dating 4 1/2 years ago. At the time I just dismissed it as 'oh, everyone now a days has ADHD it's the new big thing' but the more time went by the more I've begun to see it. We have a child together, a 7 month old and since we brought her home it's felt like I'm raising two children, not one. At first I thought maybe I was just being too hard on him about house work, about helping me out with our daughter, but things haven't gotten any better.

At the end of rope

I'm new to the forum, although I have been married to my ADHD husband for 10 years now.  I knew when we first got married, he had ADHD, because he told me he was diagnosed with it.  He has been on Adderall for over 6 years now, besides a little weight loss, I cannot tell a huge difference.  I'm not allowed at his Dr.'s visits, therefore, I have no input in the fact that I feel the Adderall is not working.  I feel like his is the worst case senario of ADHD possible.  Our house stays a disaster, we're in debt up to our eyeballs and he still makes extravagent purchases at times, he forgets t

When do you call it quits

We just discovered that my husband has ADHD which explains so much, but his first appt with the psychiatrist isn't till 9/1.  I'm at the end of my rope here.  I don't know if I can make it.  We've been going to marriage counseling which now seems like a waste of time since it wasn't geared toward helping us with one of us having ADHD.  His stress level is high and therefore his temper is terrible.  I feel I can't talk to him.  He goes from 0-10 in a second.  We have a three year old and I have to think about him and what this is all doing to him.  We're constantly fighting and its not rig

Symptoms increase after diagnosis

My husband, of 16 years, found a wonderful counselor at the beginning of the summer following an emotional breakdown of sorts.  This very insightful counselor began looking at patterns of behavior and suggested an AD/HD diagnosis.  They've continued to work together and my husband is trying to embrace this diagnosis...

What is the main frustration with your AD/HD relationship?

After a frustrating weekend with my AD/HD husband, I began to wonder what others found to be the most difficult thing when trying to peacefully co-exist with an AD/HD partner.  So if you could pinpoint one thing that would help your relationship if it didn't exist, what would it be?  This isn't a "bash" him/her post, but one that might help to see where the negative AD/HD behavior starts to reek havic on  relationships. 

Dealing with Laziness

My wife often uses laziness as a reason for not doing something.  It might be something she agreed to do by a certain day/time.  Or it may be something we more generally agreed to do, such as not leave things on the kitchen table.

When I tell her it bothers me that she didn't put something away or didn't get something done, she'll respond "I know. I was too lazy."  Or "I just didn't feel like getting up to do it." 

Do we all have symptoms?

I am also beginning to suspect I have some of the characteristics of ADHD myself. I am very energetic when interested in something, passionate and excited, can be wildly creative. Very very low boredom threshold. But I also have a very good work ethic, and get things done pretty well most of the time. What does anyone think? I have been the partner in the marriage who took full responsibility for everything (reluctantly) as a result we live in a nice house in a nice area, and all the kids are clean and fed. Is it possible to have just the good bits?

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