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How to approach my husband about his ADHD

            Hello, I've been married for 8yrs. My partner has been dedicated to his military career for 13 years,and I have been having lots of issues with our marriage as a whole.  I have known for a long time about my husbands ADHD. It was diagnosed when he was a child.  I admit I haven't dealt with this very well and from this (ADHD,Military career, and my own diagnose of colon cancer). I have sought out help from a family practitioner about being put on meds.

Marriage Counselor in Rhode Island

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Hi

My husband has ADD and we are having a lot of the problems that are described here. It is a relief to find this website and have what I am going through validated. 

We are at the point where we need to find a good marriage counselor, or we will end up breaking up. From reading the material available here, it seems that not every marriage counselor knows how to deal with the specific issues of a marriage where a spouse has ADD. It seems that counseling can make it worse unless the counselor has experience dealing with these very specific issues. 

Question about untreated ADD

I keep reading from members here that they feel their spouses ADD has gradually gotten worse over time, and blame this on the condition being left untreated. Is this common? Does being left 'untreated' include medication? My husband is trying to avoid meds, and I am 100% supportive of that decision. I am VERY gun shy when it comes to meds. For years he was mis-diagnosed and given anti-depressants and they ALWAYS made him very moody and irritable and MUCH worse than without them.

Any non-ADHD spouses suffer from a mental disorder/illness themselves?

I'm curious if anyone else suffers from any mental health issues while also dealing with their ADHD spouse.  I suffer from depression and I know that this only makes our marriage harder than it already is with the ADHD issue.  I'm not BLAMING my adhd husband, but I know the issues the adhd causes in our marriage has made my depression worse.  For the first time I'm thinking I could use some therapy myself, as I think about how negatively the adhd has impacted me in our marriage.  Of course my husband needs therapy and I desperately wish he would do it (and we could afford it, we would ser

Does this sound like something an ADD-er would do?

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Back out of the driveway and hit the car of a guest even though you knew very well that the car was back there?  DH did this today - this is entirely a new one.  He said he knew it was there but he was thinking about something else....as he backed right into it.

Do you think this might be ADD related - or is this something that could happen to anyone.  I backed out of the garage this morning without hitting the guest's car....

Tough week

Many times I am left feeling confused and frustrated because I try so hard to 'understand' and as we all know, this understanding doesn't come easily to us, especially those of us who are just starting down the road to treatment. I suppose it's a good thing we're starting counseling tomorrow...

We have a lot of progress, even if it was 1 step forward and 2 steps back sometimes we always come out of each issue moving forward and there has just been a new and improved understanding of what we both want and need from this marriage in the past 9 monts, since we reconciled.

Is there anything else I can do?

My husband had no problem embracing the ADHD diagnosis once it was suggested. We had problems getting him on meds and lots of problems with side effects of those meds. He's on something that works for him now [more or less]. We've done counseling, etc and at the beginning, he read some books. But now he's tired of hearing about it. He feels he's done dealing with it, I guess. I know I think about it a lot more than he does.

HIs ADHD is actually destroying my mental health

Hopefully, someone can help me with all of this.  Background:  My husband has ADHD - not medicated, but diagnosed many, many moons ago.  He comes from a very unemotional, judgmental family who feels everything he does is not good enough (yes, everything).  I have schizoaffective bipolar type - not medicated until/unless I have bad episodes.  (and yes, we make a lovely pair)  I come from a melodramatic family and I can't even think where to go from there because my family is utter chaos. 

Dr Hallowell on Dr. Oz show-September 16th, watch!

I just saw that Dr . Hallowell will be talking about ADHD and marriage on Sept 16th on the Dr Oz show.  I was so excited to see this!  I saw he was on Dr Phil a long time ago but missed it, so I'm anxious to watch this episode.  I told my ADD husband he needs to watch it with me so we have it set to record.  Just thought some of yall may want to know about it as well!

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