Recent forum posts (all topics)

Sorry for my English, I am French speaker with an intermediate level in english.

Last March I dated a man with ADHD. Everything was fine for 3 months before he moved for his medical internship in July 2019. No news for 3 weeks then he returned at the end of July to finally disappear for good and started to isolate himself. During our last call phone he said to me: "there is nothing to do, we have to wait for it to pass" and he was happy for the texts I sent to him during these time.

Sorry for my English, I am French speaker with an intermediate level in english.

Last March I dated a man with ADHD. Everything was fine for 3 months before he moved for his medical internship in July 2019. No news for 3 weeks then he returned at the end of July to finally disappear for good and started to isolate himself. During our last call phone he said to me: "there is nothing to do, we have to wait for it to pass" and he was happy for the texts I sent to him during these time.

I am very new to this, so I'm going to keep this post short.  I was a widower and recently remarried a widow, and we are both retired (in our early 60s).  She has ADHD (self-diagnosed, untreated).  She told me she was ADHD, and I did a little research on the subject, but I sure didn't learn enough to know what I was really getting into.  Now I'm in it.  Wow.  I read of the struggles of others on this site (a site which I discovered not too long ago), and I've noticed that most (all?) the ADHD spouses are the husbands.  I wonder if this is unusual for the wife to be ADHD?

I am a new poster to this forum, this will be long, but I want to explain my background, my joy in the validation that I have felt from finding these books and forums, and my outstanding anger and resentment over what has gone down.

Don’t Just Talk, Communicate

Good communication is the key to strong relationships. This is true for adults with and without attention deficit. The problem is, adults with ADHD often think that they’re communicating when really they’re just talking. How to get your feelings across effectively with friends and partners.

BY KATHLEEN NADEAU, PH.D.

Adults with ADHD know that communication can break down when they are preoccupied with a particular problem, and don’t — or can’t — get their feelings across to their partners.

I joined this forum today because I finally got to a point where I couldn't wait for my weekly therapist appointment, and my ADHD husband has asked me not to share that he has it to my friends and family. I'm at a loss now and hoping to turn to this group for shared experience. I apologize that this is a novel -- I don't know how to be succinct in painting the full picture.

My husband has ADHD and I would love to embrace the idea of letting him experience the consequences of his actions. My main thought that I am struggling with is around sleep, because I, and our family, continue to be impacted by his irregularly irregular sleep schedule. He, similar to many others with ADHD, struggles to get to bed at the time that he intends to go to bed.

I, the husband, is the one with the ADHD. My wife and I separated, and my wife has not been willing to even text me for over a year.  I have been out of her house for two years ago, and she has filed for divorce.  As part of the divorce proceedings, I said that I would agree to the divorce, if she would go to a marriage weekend workshop.  She agreed.

In my efforts to change the dynamic in my relationship, some things are becoming very clear....1) The parent (the responsible party/enabler, is always at fault, and is always the loser (Me)...If that statement makes me or you angry, then my point is proved!