Recent forum posts (all topics)

That time of year again--a time when I sit at my computer and he gets frustrated for having to hand over papers and documents to me. He has never once--not once--done our taxes or took it upon himself to find someone to do them. The one year I waited on him to take care of it, I ended up rushing to a storefront rip-off place past the deadline. I'm thinking this is the end of this. I'm going to look for a professional tax person.  

My not so neurotypical family of origin is ruled by a principle: nobody has a right to expect anything from the others, and nobody should feel obliged to make efforts. 

This is nice for individuals. Makes everyone relaxed and guilt-free. However, it isn’t great for keeping extended family together, or to strengthen those who need it. Or to even out responsibility for family connection.

Man: You really hurt my feelings, are you going to apologize?

Woman: Okay...

I'm sorry you have feelings, that must be exhausting. 

This was a "I spit out my coffee"  moment. I still can't stop laughing!!

It was the first thing that popped up as a reel...on social media.

It depicted just the woman ...including an eye roll at the end.

What I remember, was my ex saying .."can you try to be a little less sensitive.?"

It resonated so deeply....I belly laughed...as a way to start my day.

"Art without intention is just an accident."

5 Days after separation. 

Things I've learned so far. I know there's poeple on this forum who are no longer with their ADHD partner. Instead of keeping these discoveries to myself...I think there's some value here that other could use.

So I agreed to meet my ex for a chat yesterday. He wanted to talk over stuff that had come up in therapy, see if it chimed with me. I was hopeful - maybe his therapist had got him to reflect on his behaviour; maybe he had begun to see himself better, and the impact of his behaviour, and that would enable us to move forward, get on better.

I have not posted or commented for a year now, and so I apologize for the very long post. 

After reaching an all time low in December 2024, and giving my husband an ultimatum, to get treatment otherwise I would need to leave to save my sanity, health etc., 2025 went relatively well. The meds didn't solve our problems, but the effects definitely helped him to be more present, more attentive, more regulated, and this led to him picking up some chores and habits which DID help bring me back from the edge of burnout, and also start chipping away at 20 years of resentment.

I’ve been married almost 19 years. I almost divorced my husband 2 years into our marriage primarily because of his rage episodes. So much damage was done those first 2 years. Then disaster happened—his sister died a very sudden tragic death. I got sucked back in during that crisis and he swore he would change. He saw a psychologist and went on medication and for a while was doing much better. We also went to marriage counseling. He is currently on antidepressants and sees a psychologist, but I believe he lies to her. 

Sorry if this is long. I am currently trapped on a "vacation" with my severely (worsening) ADHD husband and his very dysfunctional family, including his daughter who is also seriously ADHD, I think even worse than her dad. There are rampant issues in this family with generational PTSD, ADHD, mental health issues, anger issues and substance abuse. I have a complex 14 year history with all of them, including helping to save multiple family members from death by drug addiction, and receiving no real gratitude or recognition of how awful that extended nightmare experience was for me. 

Six days out from leaving so I'm still living here....

But I'm no longer living inside "the systems emotional field". To be clear...I feel closure and resolution now...it's okay for me to leave....most of my immediate grieving is done. I'm going toward something not trying to get away. That's the litmus test I've been following. It's time for me to leave.

With that, I have clarity, that I didn't have before.  Moving forward...and leaving a system that is existentially bad for me...on a number of levels.

I have been with my partner for 13 months now, in our day to day lives out relationship is great but when we have an argument it spirals out of control, 

When we argue im accused of not loving her that I'm cheating or that I'm seeing someone else 

This isn't the case and has never been the case, 

I try my best to reassure her there is no one else but she doesn't believe me and states that I don't love her and never have, that I'm using her to pass the time,