Recent forum posts (all topics)

I'm pretty clear on the challenge I face with my SO. I'm also getting through the grieving process. All that's left is to make the decision and choose the red pill or the blue pill. Almost done with the book... which  makes me realize there's only so many things I can do alone without both of us participating.

My biggest fear, based on my own insecure attachment is, can I do what I need to and become comfortably secure with what "I" have to deal with....that's me of course. 

A liberating thought today. Many of my worst fears have already happened.

The marriage has gone down an abyss of dishonesty and pain. Children are absent half the time. They might not like me with time, they will grow up with ambivalence about my love for them. I've lost most old friends, relatives. Hopes and dreams.

Went for a Sunday walk alone. Lovely Autumn day. Many people outside with friendly faces. Everyone says hello. Little kids playing.

Discover I'm happy to be alive, happy to be divorced. Those worst fears have all played out and I'm still happy today.

This forum seems pretty dead, but I need to vent. Yesterday, my ADHD wife, was saying how we needed groceries but she didn't want to deal with Walmart, so I suggested doing pickup instead. She handled the order and checked things off our shared electronic grocery list (Google Keep is amazing). The trouble started when she got home. She wanted help unloading and pointed out things to put away in the freezer. I handled all that and saw a couple bags of dried goods in the trunk and put that away too.

Is this healthy for our relationship or hurting it?

After everything I've learned so far including reading from the book, I've been trying to imploy aa many tools as possible when communicating with my SO. That includes, not invalidating things she says especially things she believes.  I'm going in with an open mindset even if I don't personally agree with everything she believes, and responding to her accordingly trying not to say things like "I don't believe it" or "that's not true".

The ADHD Effect on Marriage really resonates but the perspective has me confused. I wonder if my ADHD wife is projecting. 

If necessity is the mother of invention, then it's working. The culmination of years of therapy ( and not actually knowing exactly what it was geared for ) ....I'm finally putting all the pieces together, but now, in an all encompassing way. I'm getting the big picture, the macro and the micro, and am gaining the ability to see things much more clearly. I really beginning to see all the players or characters in my like and how I got here which specific to me, is what I really needed. Answers to questions I've wanted to know more than anything. My anxious nature has pushed me to thus point but more, finally understanding my own 

After divorce ten months ago I've had several friends come visit. Mostly one good friend at a time, but also small family gatherings, and the occasional friend's family with children. 

It's been enjoyable, and I've mostly managed it. But socializing now knocks me out instead of filling me up. I don't want to admit it, but it's a fact. And the children, who aren't used to company after all the years of their father's depression and anxiety, are socially withdrawn which means I must work harder and sometimes feel awkward and overwhelmed. 

He has ADHD but the parent/child dynamic doesn't describe us

My husband left just over a year ago and I haven't known why.  I've finally stumbled upon the ADHD in marriage information and it tells our story, except that he was the one who left.  He is terrified of feeling trapped and controlled and at the moment is utterly disinterested in looking at reconcilation.  We have met up a couple of times recently and have talked for several hours, from my point of view getting on very well and having quite a nice time despite the weird situation.  Logically he seems to recognise that I haven't been a horrible controlling harpy but emotionally he is scared,