Recent forum posts (all topics)

“There’s the saying that you can’t serve two masters at one time because you will love one and loathe the other,” says Dr. Childs. “Usually, when we enter into affairs, there’s either a lack of communication in a relationship, our needs are not being met, or it’s become so routine that we need an escape and we need something exciting. That exciting new thing may come in the form of this ‘new relationship,’ but what we’re not recognizing is that it’s all a fantasy.”

I'm the one with this issue, not so much my SO. I'm coming to understand more and more, how this issue of mine is causing problems in my relationships. I realize it's from my past traumas  ( as a survival  strategy ) that was successful at one time.... so learning how to do it now in a comfortable way is hard, at least, because I'm not use to doing it. It's also not easy, when the other person reacts negatively to it.

I wish there were more resources for nons who need to co parent with ADHD co parents. 

I find the stress and sorrow of this arrangement (read non arrangement) is clouding my life, making it extremely difficult to find peace and joy living alone.

Ive decided to not ever try to manage my ex or what he does on his time with children. Instead I deal with a complete void that they disappear into every week. I overburden myself to squeeze in all I can for them on my weeks.

Before I begin...
I hope I am posting this message on the right forum. If not, I am, of course, happy to repost it elsewhere if necessary.

Where to start? As with every story, I think it’s best to start at the beginning.

I'm doing a bit of research on trauma survivors and ran across an article that listed the positives or strengths, of people who are trauma survivors.  If I had any question if I was one or not, this list pretty well defines my strengths. Almost ( if not exactly ) to a tee.

Another connection and realization.  

In therapy, anger is a topic I'm exploring.

 Along with that, triggers. But there's more to it than just ADHD. Not everything is ADHD but it can be related...correlations. In my mind, everything is inter-connected if you look closely enough.

Hello, I haven't been on this board for a LONG time.  But I had been very frequent writer here for years.  This site has been a big help for me to have a place to come and write out my venting and challenges with my ADHD husband.  In January of 2024 he died unexpectedly.  I was in denial and didn't trust my thoughts or feelings.  I didn't know what I thought or how I felt other than confused and gob-smacked.  We had been married for 50 years.

Getting back into therapy has already proven to be insightful. Getting to the elephant in the room sometimes is not always easy to do without some help.

Contempt was briefly mentioned, in connection to the past, and it immediately occurred to me what ( at least ) one trust issue has been. Trust, in respect to, men in general. ( men from my SO's past ).