Recent forum posts (all topics)

Following my split with his dad, my elder child has been keen to talk to me about his struggles over years. The boy’s mental health has often been wobbly, needing a lot of support (from me; dad was never available) and counselling. He’s telling me now that a lot of that stemmed from confusion and low self esteem caused by his father, and a lack of a functional male role model. He was realises he was messed up by the dissonance between what is dad said to him and how his dad behaved towards him.

Hi all,

I have ADHD and am in a very dysfunctional marriage. There's the stereotype of a lazy, absent, distracted, incompetent, ADHD spouse, but I try so hard as a parent at least. As a spouse I am spent. 

How do you all keep your kids on track (as best as possible) for household tasks when your partner doesn't do anything (literally)? Am I'm not being dramatic, if i thought talking about or figuring out a good time to being it up or whatever, blah blah would work...I would not be asking this question.

I.underatand that kids don't care what you say, it's what you DO. And I'd like to try to install a bit of life skills in my kid, I think im doing a good Jo but dang if it's not pushing water up a hill bc my partner just doesn't show up. At all. In any sense. 

My ex texts he intends to ask forgiveness when we meet at the counselor in a few weeks. 

It’s sad, but I’m afraid he’s trying to  manipulate me, because he wants something from me. He’s always said things to please others, regardless of whether he means it. Sooner or later, he will scream at you that none of it was true.

Hello folks,

My ADHD girlfriend (40 y/o) of 2 and half years  (and with plans to get married) broke up with me in a whimp. She couldn't articulate reasonable argument for this impulsive act. 

My question is:

Do I have any chance to get her back?...will she?...Anything I can do to help her, to try to come back together as a couple?...

I've been reading a lot, and learning as much as I can about ADHD. 

I'm really struggling at the moment (hence the 2x different posts) but it's not so much sadness or grief or anything...it's moreso around trying to wrap my head about radical acceptance. 

If I think/believe my spouse's (ADHD, 48 yo, dx 3 years ago) behaviour and actions are unnacceptable and I don't like them and don't want to live like this, but I'm practicing radical acceptance, which means that who is right now is WHO HE IS and I need to accept it...... where does that put me? 

I've been on this forum for nearly 9 years and have separated myself from my spouse in many areas.  We live together and do some things together but I no longer depend on him, fix his mistakes, or apologize for him.  I've dealt with most of the issues others have posted about and will say that there is no fixing your spouse.  They aren't going to clean, or take out trash, or pick up the kids on time.  You must accept this if you intend to stay married.  Stop wasting years while s/he half-asses therapy, makes empty promises, and blames everything on their condition.

I'm the non in this (as least I think so) and we are in such a bad place, I can't even begin to figure out where to start to address it. I don't want to be in this type of marriage anymore, I don't want to model what we are modelling to our son...basically, I don't know what to do when I know I've had enough, my body/mind/soul/heart is screaming at me: 'ENOUGH" and yet... I feel stuck and not sure what to do (and acknowleding that this appears to be a prison of my own making). 

I'm the non in this (as least I think so) and we are in such a bad place, I can't even begin to figure out where to start to address it. I don't want to be in this type of marriage anymore, I don't want to model what we are modelling to our son...basically, I don't know what to do when I know I've had enough, my body/mind/soul/heart is screaming at me: 'ENOUGH" and yet... I feel stuck and not sure what to do (and acknowleding that this appears to be a prison of my own making). 

I have been married to an, until last year, undiagnosed ADHD/OCD spouse.  We have been together 31 years.  Unbeknownst to me, when we got together, he was self medicating with alcohol. The person he was when I married him is the complete opposite of the man he is today and I find myself wondering how I ever got here.  As he struggled to get his alcoholism under control, slowly but surely, the “real” him came out, along with all the ADHD symptoms.  His only love language is physical and I became so tired of feeling like a blow up doll I have no interest in sex anymore.