Recent forum posts (all topics)

This is my first time posting and I'm thankful to have found this community. I need help!! My husband of almost 20 years was diagnosed last year with ADHD at age 41. While it has certainly shed some light on some of our marital issues over the years I am having a hard time "accepting and understanding him" for what he is. We were college sweethearts and married young at 22, had our first daughter at 24 and went on to have 2 more boys. Kids are now 18, 14, and 11 and both my 18 YO daughter and 11 YO son were diagnosed in the last couple of years with ADHD as well.

I had stopped daring to make a scene.  I would stuff, deny, shut-up about anything and anybody.  H would lie in front of me and I would "let it go". H would forget a promise, say mean words, slam things, tease me, make me the butt of his jokes....I would ignore, pass off, pretend he hadn't.  I did not have a mentor/model on how to respond without going to that "nasty" place myself.  I had not wanted to be a loud, yelling, in-your-face person.  I don't like to live like life and love were a sparring event.  So, how does a person hold their own ground with grace and peace and love?  

It is 10pm. My husband and I are supposed to go on vacation in the morning. We have strict dietary needs and while I arranged accommodations and activities, he was supposed to look into restaurants. He has not done this yet. I don't want to be stuck without food. If I make the calls at this point is that parenting behavior? How would you handle this?

I am fairly certain my husband has undiagnosed and untreated ADHD. I could explain all the valid reasons why, but please trust me.

I am also currently going through IVF and have just had my second chemical pregnancy (an early miscarriage)

If the path before you isn’t clear, you’re probably on someone else’s. – Joseph Campbell

I just discovered this forum after reading the book.

I'm new to this whole thing and my husband is not being treated. I dont think he thinks it's a problem but after my  counselor suggested he might have ADD which he had as a kid and he hates meds, but when researching ADD and marriage I'm like a lightbulb went off. The whole hyperfocus dating where I felt like a queen and now am soooooo lonely and so hopeless and just frickin overwhelmed. i have no idea where to start and I'm so over it. I know there's a person I loved somewhere in there but I'm tired and feel almost done. In addition to the ADD we also are dealing with a blended family.

I'm new here and finally got the courage to create an account and post.  I'm 33 and was diagnosed 3 years ago with ADHD-C.  I've been with my SO for 15 years now and this explained so many of our issues.  We have worked through a ton of our struggles but there is one struggle that I can't seem to get past.

Acceptance.  Acceptance of my limitations.  

I'm sharing this here not because I expect advice but because I know that many of you will understand my experience.  

"Next time you disagree, I encourage you to overtly seek the ‘and’ in your conversation."

I felt my body unclench itself reading your thoughts on this. Thanks