Recent forum posts (all topics)

light in tunnel: hope or train???

Our kids have adhd. My H has adhd. I’m fighting for health in this family. The wheels came off everything, and in looking for help from professionals, we realized our kids have adhd, which led to the realization my H did, too.  Cliche story, right?

I’ve been doing so much to try to give my kids a better life than what my H has lived. Therapists, psychiatrists, meds, good diet, supplements, exercise, charts, routine, etc. But sometimes it feels like it will never ever be enough and between my H and my kids, I feel like I’ve been through the ringer.  

Butter

I know it's an unusual forum topic but it's not really about the butter. We leave our butter on the counter and it tends to get too hard to spread. A quick pop on the microwave and it softens. My DH totally melts it every time. I know this seems petty but what the neck I don't care to try and spread melted butter. Why does he not see and remember that it only takes 6 seconds to soften it not one minute. And it's not really about the butter but about my need to be considered as to what I like and his denial in not being able to soften butter without a making a melted mess.

It's the Chaos

Excuse me while I blather here

I've noticed that since I've moved out of the house, some of my anxiety over chaos in day to day living is disappearing.  I'm smiling more and sleeping better.

 

Last week my husband texted me wondering if we had any plans for Friday (we celebrate Yule)  I texted back no.  And that's the truth.   I was kind of wondering (and hoping) maybe he would invite all of us to the house for Yule but I haven't heard from him since.  I even got him a lovely little gift that would make him smile.

Don't be cruel - to your self

I just saw this posted on Facebook.

The most important lesson I've learned over this past year is don't let anyone make you cruel. No matter how badly you want to give the world a taste of its own bitter medicine, it's never worth losing yourself.

I also know the wisdom of "You teach the world how to treat you."

ADHD spouses.Their parents and upbringing, how was it?

       I am interested in the upbringing of the ADHD people.( Mostly the ones of us whose spouses HAVE this.) How was your spouse brought up? And when did they (or not) know about the ADHD? We didn't find out my H had ADHD until he was around 50. And, later on we learned his mother was bipolar and had Alzheimer's. 

Why Do i Keep Making Decisions Without Thinking about Consequences?

I'm new to the community, but my marriage is in a really bad space because of a recurring pattern of making decisions and keeping them from my wife.  Two weeks ago, I started a new job and there was so much information coming at me, and I was excited to learn as much as I could so I quickly signed up for a $300 class without telling my wife.  She asked about it a few days later and I was defensive and shut down and turned away.  About a week ago, my Psychiatrist, NP agreed that I might need a small afternoon dose to get me through the afternoons because I was not having much success focusin

Effects of Poor Memory

I would love some guidance on this topic.  I totally get that my husband has poor working memory and short term memory.  Here is my dilemma...How do you do LIFE with someone who has poor memory when the consequences of that poor memory can effect you in some big ways.  I try not to involve my husband in things that need to be done that if he forgets would impact me too much.  Not only is that very challenging when you are supposed to share life with someone but it also puts a lot more stress and responsibility on me.  That aside, sometimes he does things completely out of my control and it

I feel sad about this

My younger daughter is arriving this evening from out of state.  Here is something that makes me feel very happy and grateful:  My sister is hosting her overnight so that I don't have to make the three-hour round trip to and from the airport in the dark.  Here is what makes me sad about the situation:  My ex-husband not only spends less time with our daughters than I do but also spends less time with them than do my sister (their aunt), my brothers (their uncles), and my sister's ex-husband.  In what universe is this kind of parent-child relationship okay?  I know, that was a rhetorical que

Several barriers to communication: ADHD, CAPD, language

Hi,  my husband and I have been married 27 years.  We have been in marriage counseling 5 times in those years with no real improvements.  He was finally diagnosed with ADD a few years ago but also shows signs of language issues and Central Auditory Processing Disorder.  Communication and conversation are very difficult and I have gotten to the point where unless we are talking about something he is interested or involved in, I avoid a lot of conversation with him.  There is a lot of misunderstanding, misinterpreting, forgetting, repeating, arguing and frustration.  I find it is much easier

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