Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hello all, 

So, my wife and two kids were supposed to be evaluated for ADHD on Monday.

Things started off in a very ADHD manner.  Our son had a concert after the appointment.  Where were his black pants????  This caused delay, discord, and confusion on the way to the appointment.  He never found the pants, so my wife was worried that she had to find time to buy him a new pair before the concert.  (And, of course, he blew off the concert!)

Greetings:

am new to this forum and would appreciate any feedback.

Am a non-ADHD spouse married to an ADHD husband.  Over the years, a certain behavior has repeatedly shown itself.  It seems that H becomes infatuated with certain people without really knowing much about them.  These people are sometimes co-workers, trainers at the gym and other acquaintances.  They may be male or female.  It is not my impression that this behavior is sexual or romantic in nature.  It is more like a unfounded admiration.

In one ADHD book I read, the author talked about how most ADD'ers crave sugar so much that to try and make them stay away from is virtually impossible.  As soon as I  read that, I felt like he had just explained something that was at the heart of one of the biggest conflicts in our home.  I have always craved sugar so much that for most of my life I have actually essentially lived on it--as in gone days on end eating nothing but candy, cookies, milk/chocolate milk, cereal, Ovaltine, pudding.  Until I had children, I never gave this much thought.  Then, I shot myself in the foot by marrying

 I am wondering if anyone else feels guilty about your ADHD marriage and its effect on your children?  I know I do.  My husband and I have been married 21 years, and almost certainly should not have had children at all.

So I have a question.  Can the non-ADHD partners among us tell when our ADHD person is fully present vs. when they are checked out?  Here's what I mean: there are stretches of time where DH is in a normal mood, not prickly or sullen, acting normally, retaining things I say and then for no reason I can point to there will be periods of time where he is just out to lunch.  Right now he is out to lunch and has been for a few weeks.  The inconsistency of his moods is for me one of the hardest parts of living with an unmedicated ADHD adult.

Yesterday, I was outdoors on our yard at the home I am fortunate enough to live in.   I asked myself, "Why have you not been happy here?"  I am ashamed of myself for not being able to be happy and more appreciative all these years.  

What would it be like to not have to read, research, make adjustments, soul search and the like?  How would it be without having to figure out your last straw or how to live peaceably in such a difficult situation.  We talk all the time about self-care.  It's very important that we exercise self-care. It also seems like we, collectively, spend an inordinate amount of time on the aforementioned activities, in an effort to understand ADHD and react to situations beyond our control.

Hey my fellow ADHD'ers,

My husband has not been diagnosed with ADHD ( yet). We have been married for 13 years. We both know that he is ADHD & we both are reading up on it. Me more then him.

This diagnosis will answer alot of years of wondering what the hec is wrong with our life.

Allthough it does not begin to help us at this point. I think that I feel worse!! I dont know how he really feels because he isnt willing to talk much about it. I mentioned many times, (years) that I am done with the way our life is going.