Recent forum posts (all topics)

Must the "grown up" adult always tolerate and be patient, and never express anger?  Or even HAVE any anger?

....I find that there's a rather extensive therapeutic literature about this question.  

My story is like so many others on here. ADHD spouse who is unreliable, lies, is a financial mess and never takes responsibility for his actions.

The most recent is that he drove our car for a year with an expired license and no insurance. WHY?! Because he missed an appointment to go to the next level with his license and he needed to start over so he instead just kept driving our children every day for a year. Till the police pulled him over for an expired sticker and he was discovered to also not have a proper license or insurance.

I want to say to H, "You garner for yourself nice things.  Then you don't take care of your things.  Once you have acquired them, you let them rust and pile up with your other things in dirty hoarding piles.  It is what you did to me.  Once you got me, you ignored me.  I would say our relationship needed some attention but you would call me names for letting you know the marriage needed maintenance (as tho I was trying to tell you to do something you did not want to do and no one is going to tell you what to do).

My journey into Adhd land was only the beginning of what has been a 7 year journey into a dynamic that evolved over 44 years of marriage.

I am posting under this topic because I am FINALLY getting a glimpse of a better future for both my H(adhd/attachment disorder) and I.....together or apart.

I haven't been on here in such a long time because I've been immersed in both individual and couples therapy, but I really could use some help from others in the trenches please. After 17 years of a difficult marriage my husband had an "awakening" because he realized that he had lost me. This after his emotional abuse, affairs, and his telling me he wanted a divorce countless times. Now he's a "different person" and he says he could understand my leaving the old version, but if I leave this new guy I am quitting on him and our marriage and he doesn't think he could forgive me for that.

I am grateful for this forum and this site.  It is helping me to learn about ADD, which I was totally ignorant about until I started dating a man with ADD (he told me on the first date).  We have been dating (exclusive to one another) for a few months now.  We come to this relationship late in life with our own respective baggage.  In sum, I have abandonment and attachment issues stemming from abuse in my childhood, and he was exposed to severe childhood trauma as well.  We recognize the most wonderful attributes in the other, and became quite close very early on in the relationship.  We re

I have been manipulated and dumped on for so long, by so many people, I don't know anymore what is sincere and what is manipulation. Is this a sincere apology. 

"I apologize for all the pain that I've caused you "

To me, it feels like someone that doesn't want to take responsibility for their actions and they just want the problem to go away. I could be absolutely wrong, though. 

P.S. I hope this didn't post twice. It seemed to disappear the first time I posted it. 

My SO of 18 years has just been diagnosed as ADHD. He was diagnosed because I asked for a divorce after many years of thinking about it after having discovered his online porn addiction. He says he wants to fix us but I think I'm too far gone. I'm reading the adhd effect in marriage and almost all of it is familiar but I just don't care. I would like to be supportive while he repairs his relationships with the kids but I really don't feel like there is an us to fix. 

I posted a thread on this forum a couple of weeks ago: The longest breakup...ever.