Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi everyone...first time posting here...so grateful to find others that may understand.

My husband and I have been together ten years with ups and downs. As a whole for the first few years it was a fairy tale. We first met in sixth grade and had been friends on an off for years, finally getting together in our late 20's. He's kind, creative, gentle, basically an answer to prayer.

I have a teen with Autism and ADHD and various health issues like causing most of these labels. While he has done well on Propanolol for anxiety and aggression, he still struggles alot with ADD/ADHD type symptoms. We were going to try out Strattera for him, but since we hadn't hit our insurance deductible it was going to cost us $400 plus per month, which is ridiculous. Strattera doesn't even have the best reviews and he cannot tolerate stimulants and Tenex had limited effectiveness for him. 

Or rather, yet another screaming monologue with me standing there being yelled at and cussed out in front of our kids. 

Just realized that there are no happy memories in our marriage to look back on. At least not for me. He left me to handle an impossible load all on my own with our family. And I do mean impossible. I have health issues of my own that have affected me significantly. Both of our kids were diagnosed with PANDAS, a form of Autoimmune Encephalitis. One is on the Autism Spectrum. This means sick children with major behavior issues. I have always had to work, manage all their care, the bulk of the house, medical issues, the school and SPED paperwork/meetings, etc.

Hello all. Well, I have spent a lot of time on this forum, read the book, and frankly, it has gotten me no where! lol! (Not the forum's fault by any means). After my souses' adhd diagnosis, and drug variety, we were left devastated. I think he believes that the adhd (and all that comes with it) is why we are "too different". The more research, the more drugs, the more people he met with adhd, the worse our relationship got. I was never "doing the right thing" or I was "always out to hurt him". There were serious rage/ anger issues that were unpredictable, frightening, and abusive.

I did not know he had this for the first year we were together, I just knew he had organization, memory and other issues.  I accepted and blew it off.  I'm a type A Personality so it was not noticed as much.

However, things started falling apart in our lives.  Illnesses, death of family members, job losses, and his condition really came to the forefront because I needed him to help more.

Good Evening.  I am hoping that someone will be able to relate to my story and offer me some major advice.

Those are his words, but I believe they're accurate.  He told me this weekend that he knows this is true because he prefers sitting with his mom, who has late-stage Alzheimer's disease and can't process communication, than being with his dad (and, presumably, with me). In a way, this doesn't matter anymore (we're now divorced), but it still hurts.  I wonder if he ever told any of the several therapists he visited over the years that part of the problem was his inability to form connections and it wasn't only my fault that our relationship was rocky and his life wasn't going well.

I have an ADHD partner who seethes with anger  when reminded about any mess. It doesn't matter if it is said nicely. She blows her top and accuses me of a lot of things that in the end everything is my fault. Sometimes she makes me feel like a monster by saying "ok, me and my son will just find a place tostay where we can leave without anyone dictating to us". I used to tell her that there is no need to be defensive because what we are trying to do, is normal. Keeping the house clean is a normal activity, it is not oppressive.