Recent forum posts (all topics)

i am the non-ADHD fiance for 7 years to a man with ADHD as well as sex addiction (SA).    He was only diagnosed in the last 2 months.  I knew very early on that he was exceedingly messy.   But since he was away about 75% of the time and had his own home I could cope.   I would happily clean up after my week with him and live normally until the chaos of another week with him.    I found out shortly after this the cheating and it took me 2 years to realize he also has a sex addiction (craigslist, prostitutes are his thing).  

The good

- he does agree he has ADD and SA

My husband and I are different people financially. Up until I went to university for a Master's Degree, and then got married and bought a house in a four year span, I used to be on top of my finances. Poor spending in university and then poor boundary setting with my husband and poor financial choices in the last four years have really set me back. I have good months and move many steps ahead, and I have bad months and move a step back. 

Dumb though it may seem, I'd like a non-ADHD partner's view on what comes to mind when you think of these three things. I've been told multiple times that this is how my wife wants me to put the brakes on a runaway argument. Between nursing my own hurts, panicking, and overthinking, I fear that I've lost the ability to truly look into and speak from my heart. Big, meaningful, long-term changes to my ADHD behaviors is the big-picture answer... but that doesn't help in the split-second decisions of a heated argument.

I have ADHD and my father has ADHD. I was told I had ADHD when I was in high school but thought that just meant that I would have a hard time finishing tasks. I have been married for 10 years and my wife is about to leave me. We have 3 children together and I haven't been able to figure out what my problem is. It just seems like I can't get things done sometimes and I can't remember to get everything done I need to around the house even if I write it down in a little notebook I carry around with me.

i am just curious what exactly is the cause?.  is it environment or is there an anomaly (think that's the word) in the brain? 

My husband has ADD from a traumatic birth injury. It has been a big part of our marriage. He and I used to get along, but since we got married a year ago, our relationship has turned into more of a parent-child theme. I don't like it. I've lost my husband to arguments over helping with dishes and laundry, or going to events outside the house, helping with our dog, etc. If it's not something he wants to do, he sees it as an annoyance and I'm the bad guy.

Figured some stuff out.  I think this hurt/anger flashes I am experiencing is related to the fear I have felt for the entirety of my relationship with my husband.  I have not had ANY security in our relationship.  I have not had any time to just "rest" and be "safe" in my marriage.  His constant threats of leaving every single time there is some sort of crisis or any time we start really getting in sync and things are GOOD, he threatens to bail and I have to fight to keep him.  I have lived in constant fear of him just running away instead of being a grown man and talking wth me - the woman

In another topic, this sentence came up as a motto used by those who would rather focus on the "fun" in life while ignoring the responsibilities in life.   It seems to really be the theme of the last couple of generations.  That "come what may, make yourself happy" shit getting fed to us by movies and TV shows by people whose wealth and narcisism completely removes them from the reality of 99% of our lives.  I get wanting to be happy, and everyone should persue it, but that motto and phrase seems to be used by the people who use it as an excuse to trample all over others, and put themselves