Recent forum posts (all topics)

Dede  posted about this guy, and J also posted about him.  This video has REALLY opened my eyes quite a bit to how much trauma CAN affect someone.  So much of this sounds like the ADHD/ADD stuff as well.  I know for my H - what happened to him in childhood is a big precursor and aggravator to hi ADHD tendencies.  I suspect he would not have NEARLY the issues he has with his tendencies had he not experienced his CSA.

This guy is describing EVERYTHING I could ever hope for my H.

Vabeachgal posted on an old blog post - and something got me thinking from the orignal poster's ideas.

They were steps to a "better 2015" ....  this was #3

"Resolution #3:  Teach yourself self-intimacy.

I consistantly have dreams about my soon to be ex H, and out of 7 years, I can count the times he was a positive presence in them on my hands (probably).  Last night I had a dream about him - and I am pretty sure it sums up so much of my frustration...

1) Having and Dx that others think  that I am just lazy,or scattered, ectI 

2) Being criticized for having a huge ego, when Im proud of what I have done, and doing e.g BS degree, Trying to recover from PTSD, Having a very succesfull small buisness, and having found a job I can retire on, and USE MY 6 Yrs in the NAVY.  And I don't have a big ego..

3) Having relationships with people who don't get that positive motivation is KEY.

4) Having non-judgmental interactions with those who have preconceived expectations of my performance.

He sits out side and chain smokes while watching videos about World of Warcraft.  He is loosing his marriage, his dogs, his home, his vehicle, and instead of ever lifting a finger to make a change to stop it... He pulls up video after video about a game he said he would never play again.

fuck him.

I really think I snapped again last night.  The fact that he didnt mention what the day was (late husbands birthday) AT ALL to me, says so much.  The fact that he values me so little that he cant even be bothered to read a book, or a chapter of the book - or anything at ALL to improve our relationship, and to manage his own issues.... says everything.

(sorry for the you/her issue. this stuff was all originally journal entries, some directed at her, others meant for my psych/therapist)

My partner has just been diagnosed with ADHD - well...sort of, not really.

Today is my late husbands birthday (first husband).  It's always a hard day for me, so today I have been posting old pictures, and videos from him.  I was close with him even when we separated, and my H knew this from the beginning of our relationship.  You would think after all these years he would remember.  But nothing.  Not a word.  But he did change his social media pictures to ones with out me in them... Which was the only place he even had a picture of me in the first place.  Stupid that it hurts like this.

Empathy is often defined as being able to put oneself in another person's shoes (figuratively, of course).  I'm frustrated by people who think that empathy consists of assuming their own shoes will fit everyone else.