Recent forum posts (all topics)

I have thought for years that my DH (45 y.) has ADD. Many symptoms seem to fit (always late, cannot start/finish projects, disorganized, distractible etc etc). Also, Ms. Orlov's book about ADHD and marriage seemed to fit perfectly with my own experience. I read this forum regularly and can identify with 99,99 % of the frustrations. DH's father suspected that he himself has it, and DH's cousin has the diagnosis.

As a long-term partner of someone with ADHD, when I was looking for support, I became increasingly sick of reading how it's me that should adapt and change all the time - because after all that's what my ADHD partner needs. Often, threads in forums labelled as 'support for partners' are immediately hijacked by those with ADHD quickly telling us what they need us to do in order to help them - like we don't do that and live with that every day.

Hi All,

Anyone out there willing to share their thoughts about the music video ;  Broken Together by Casting Crows ?  U Tube = Casting Crowns-Broken Together ( Official Music Video )   It seems that TODAY, on this Forum, contemplating relational difficulties is fitting. 

ADH9er 

Sad to say, I had a very bad day yesterday physically and emotionally, and was overwhelmed with what was happening between my husband and I. I tried to have a conversation with him, and he again said something very ADHD, which was angry in nature, (which he denies) and says "Don't take it personally". The conversation went  like this: I told him something I felt was important that I learned about, which was a political subject, and he states "I'd have to SEE that to believe it". (which he has said hundreds of times).

The day on which, because I'm "the best thing that ever happened" to my spouse (his words, more than once), he does nothing to signal his affection for me.  Oh, wait, that's every day.  He never signals his affection for "the best thing that ever happened" to him.

I'd like to hear some of the other people on here if you've had this expression said to you by your ADHD partner. My ADHD husband has said this many times. He gets angry at our grown daughters and me (and others) because he continually says "(I don't feel like I'm included in the family). He means this when we get together and can talk for several hours about many different things. We laugh, and cry and generally have a great time. But, we CAN'T do this when he is present, due to the fact that he mainly doesn't listen to us.

My husband left for work one day and hasn't been home in over a year. I belive his Undealt with  adhd is to blame, along with his poor choices.  To make a long story short, he was out drinking with his buddies playing with what he thought was a bb gun and ended up accidently  shooting and killing his best friend. I was left alone with out 5 year old son to pick up the pieces and am now a single parent. I fully support him, and just revived my book in the mail. The adhd effect on marriage.

How do you talk to a person about their ADHD without simultaneously tearing them down?

 

How do you say,

"You need medication."

"You need counseling."

"You need to receive treatments."

 

without also implying,

"You're not good enough."

"You need to change."

"You're defective."