Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi,

Hello Everyone. I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 14 years old (currently I am 28). I stopped medication when I was 22 years old. I was doing well in college and had good friendships. However my grades were better in my junior and senior years of college and graduate school. Now I realize I was doing well because those with ADD can concentrate well on things they find interesting. So these classes i was in were directly related to my desired job one day. I had even thought that I may had been diagnosed at age 14 as there was alot of instability in my home life at the time.

Okay, so I really don't have time to be on the internet right now (because the world would stop breathing if I forgot to remind it to), and nothing upsets me more than people who spend hours on the internet when they have plenty of grownup things to do (okay, maybe a few things upset me more, but that's up there).  I have never felt such a pull to join an online community before, though, so I'd like to offer a big hello.  I just read ADHD and Marriage last night...

Hello there! 

We've known about the ADHD for several months now.  His biggest attempt in the matter is to "try harder" "do better" and "not treat me this way".  But as a result, we wrap around to the same issues, the same destructive patterns and the same hurt and painful feelings.  How much longer do I hold on?  What options do I have?  We are in the midst of rock bottom once again.  I am raw with hurt and pain from neglect, abandonment, broken promises and being taken for granted moment after moment that I can see leaving as the only alternative.  I do see the pain in his eyes.

I'm taking some time off from the forum to tend to other things for a while.  My wife and I have reached a point where we are now communicating well including )but certainly not limited too) topics involving areas where we run into conflicts.  This is in a large part due to me learning more about denial and other defense mechanisms and how it effects not only communicating with another person but memory itself.  This is NOT exclusive to ADHD by the way...but I think for a person who falls into the category of being so much in denial that these defenses and means for self protection ( of the

I have ADHD and General Anxiety Disorder. I have had to learn so much about these disorders just recently as no one properly educated me nor did I receive counseling for these when entering high school. Only now ten years after high school do I feel fully informed. Thank you to Melissa Orlov books as well as other materials I have studied. Unfortunately, I went off medication because I was doing so well in graduate school, so thought I did not need meds anymore for ADHD.

When H starts a tantrum or drama-fest, my solution is to grab my purse and leave.  If I don't leave, the anger towards me escalates, even though I'm often not the reason for his anger, but I'm "there" so I become the target.

Yesterday, H had a series of annoying things go on:

1)  had to drive 300 miles round trip to see his doctor.

I've made it a goal of mine the past several months to be much more self-aware when it comes to engaging my wife with any kind of expectation. I'm not saying I don't have them, but, I'm making an effort to not attach any negative emotion to them and when I share my feelings, I'm trying to do it in calm tones ONCE:) and only when I have her attention, and only when she is calm and listening....It has been very fruitful for our communications, which has always been very limited at best....