Recent forum posts (all topics)

motivation

How do non-ADHD spouses stay motivated to take care of themselves when the spouse doesn't notice or care either way??  Last June I started a BIG weight loss thing--I exercised and lost 20+ pounds and I looked great.  Hubby liked it but also told me I looked fine before (that's nice actually, nothing I am mad about).  Now things are a little rougher and I have put 5 pounds back on.  Not the end of the world--this week was spring break and so I signed up for hot yoga (took five classes in 7 days) plus swam and walked a bunch.  No pounds lost yet, but feeling better.

Meeting for drinks

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My husband and I have been married for almost 9 years, and right now are down to one car. (mine) I have to take him and pick him up from work until he can get a new car. We got home the other day and he asked me if he could drive the car next Wednesday and come home late because he apparently told a former advisee/student of his that has apparently never had been out for drinks before and told her that when she graduated that he would buy her her first drink.

XBOX comes before everything else!

Ok... so does anyone else have this issue.  My husband is obsessed with XBOX/ Facebook and his phone. I work 45-50 hours a week at a very stressful work environment and he barley pulls in part time hours at his job working a couple days each week during the winter.  During his high season where he works 6 days out of the 7 during the summer, i make sure that he does not have to do a thing at home because i acknowledge that his job is hard work and that he may be tired.

FEAR of the UNKNOWN

So, I thought I would start this due to the similarities that a lot of us share...the FEAR of the UNKNOWN....  it doesn't matter what side of the spectrum of the relationship your on but I've noticed that most of the time, fear of the unknown causes more harm that anything....if the fear paralysis you to stay in an unhappy and or unhealthy relationship.  

I know this is a site for ADHD support but as we all know:  ADHD is typically coupled with some other form of MI and it's hard to distinguish whats doing what.

Taxes

I'm creating this topic in case anyone would care to join me in venting about it, as April 15 gets very close.

My ADHD and Marriage and Income Taxes story is not as painful as many people's, I know.  But it's painful enough for me.

First day on treatment

Today is my first day managing my ADHD. For background, my damage includes inattentiveness as well as some "#nofilter" style communication, and just about everything else. Today, was great. The whole thing is a combo of routine, meds and a few sound bytes from the many helpful people in these forums, YouTube and elsewhere. Not only have I got a lot done work wise. I worked out, chatted with our preschooler, had bfast with my wife after driving back across town to get something she accidentally left at home, folded the clothes and now I'm taking a break to write this.

Diagnosis as Validation?

I have been in and out of therapy for most of my life for a variety of issues that I could never seem to put a finger on.  I stumbled across this site and Melissa's book as my relationship to my fiance continues to decline.  I resonated with so much of what I have read thus far and am convinced that I have ADHD and it is negatively affecting my relationship.  I plan to discuss this with my therapist in our next meeting, but when I brought this up to my fiance, she was skeptical that all it provides is validation and nothing else.

Other - Living with a dry drunk (sober 20 years)

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I realize this site is focused on ADHD; however, my husband is not diagnosed as such that I know of.  We've been married almost 30 years.  The first 5 were horrible; he drank til he passed out all the time.  He got sober in 1991.  Fell off the wagon in 2006 til 2009 and has been sober since then.  He was a mean drunk.  He's mean when he's sober too and selfish.  We both have strong personalities, so I don't let him bully me.  Everything I say, or do, he opposes.  Every issue becomes and argument no matter how irrelevant.....He likes to dispute, debate, discount everything I say.   I have mo

Movie about ADHD: "Mommy"

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Hi all,

I thought some of you might be interested to know that there's a French-Canadian movie out at the moment about a teenage boy with ADHD and his mother. The movie's called "Mommy". Basically it's the story of how she tries to cope with bringing him up. My boyf (who has ADHD) and myself (who doesn't) both really enjoyed it and thought it very true to life. I have to warn you, it is very sad and disturbing in places, but also very funny and touching in others. Good to see the subject getting some intelligent media coverage in any case.

Best, 

H

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