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Hi all. I have been with my adhd partner for 10 years, we have two small kids. Throughout our relationship I have dealt with emotional and verbal abuse from him. A couple years ago I left him because of this, but we ended up getting back together after about 6 or 7 months. He is no longer abusive like he used to be, but he also hasn't made any progress in his sensitivity towards me.

we are both ADHD adults married 10 years, together 14. He has always had "girlfriends" and does not have many men friends or hobbies.

I've been married almost 18 yrs, together 20.  I was 30 when we met & had two previous short marriages which I left because my husbands "I've got to have kids" clocks went off....and yes I was clear on it before we wed. After each I attended counseling to make sure my emotions were in a healthy place to date again.  Anyway husband #3 & I have been in marital counseling 4x over the years, usually initiated by my not being able to deal with his anger & mood swings.  He also said he didn't know what was going on, sometimes depressed or angry for a week.

I met him as he was divorcing his ex wife. She left him. He said at the time she complained he wasn't there for her. She was finishing medical school, they had challenging behavior issues with their (out of control spoiled) toddler, and she was having a complicated 2nd pregnancy. He chose that time to run for public office during a midterm election. A few months later she dumped him for the guy she was sleeping with at work.

sorry

My H is not self-aware at all. First of all, he talks constantly, unless he is distracted by TV, the internet or something else. When he's distracted, then he "allows" silence. When he's not distracted, then I better be "at the ready" to listen to his non-stop drivel. I relish the times that he's at the gym, but since he works from home, he's around 24/7. I run a business from home as well. He has little/no respect for the time I must spend on my business.

Today I was trouble-shooting my own Non-ADHD brain.  

What I have determined, at least for today, LOL!, is this reality:  I do not like everything being a battle of the wits.  I do not like being in the spot of defending what I want or like.  I will not explain and explain and explain my wants, hopes and desires. I will not abandon my desires based solely on the fact that it causes discomfort for my spouse.   

Our yard is 10 acres.

I am a college student.

My spouse if a self employed construction worker.

I have been with my fiance for 5 years now. I have stayed quiet because I do not like confrontation or conflict. But honestly, I do not always feel cherished, loved, honored or respected. Instead, there are times that I feel unappreciated, lonely, betrayed, distrustful, and angry. I have been holding in a lot of anger and hurt feelings for quite some time. I have come up with every excuse in the book not to talk about it. I can no longer not talk about it. It only makes me more resentful. I know that I have let too much go and I do feel horrible for letting so much build up.