Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi new here and just looking for advice and support

Hi everyone, I found this site looking at help with ADHD relationships I have my boyfriend who was diagnosed with ADHD years ago and isn't on any medication. At the start of our relationship it was wonderful he couldn't leave me alone his hyperfocus was me (as I'm sure so many of you have had the same situation) as time has gone on his focus is more on his PC and gaming which is a big passion and YouTube lets plays are a have to do which I completely accept, as it's always been "him".

Selective focus - very interesting

My DH has been unemployed for most of our marriage (going on 23 years). He has been "house dad" for the last three years, does most of the meals, cleans up the kitchen, and takes the garbage out. He is supposed to be cleaning out the storages and the bottom half of the house of his stuff, but that's a whole 'nother ball of wax. 

Being honest without criticising

Hi all, Have been browsing the forum for a while and have gained a lot of insight from your posts - thanks. I have a question. How can I be honest with my partner about how miserable I feel about our relationship without criticising him? I try to voice issues as "complaints" rather than as "criticisms", as advised in Melissa's book, but he is super-defensive and often just takes them as criticisms anyway! Lately I've been feeling really anxious and depressed.

Bets and ADHD

Hi, 

I met my husband online. We talked for 6 months on skype before we met face to face. I never suspected him of ADHD. He was acting normal. We got married after 2 months since our face to face meeting cause we were in love. After that I found out he has ADHD, he gas 3 kids with 3 different women, he gambles/bets. Back then I really thought that everybody has the right to be happy so I didn't freak out. It's been 2 years since our marriage and its not good at all.

I'm done with the lies and quite possibly him!

My husband and I just celebrated our 10 year anniversary.  The last three years have been a roller coaster.  I met my husband 14 years ago.  It was very apparent to me from our first date, that he had ADD.  He first lied about having it, but later admitted he was diagnosed in his early teens.  We struggled at times due to his forgetfulness, impulsiveness, lying and lack of empathy.  However, we managed to get through our ups and downs.  The two years before our son were born, were probably our happiest.  I felt he was becoming more attentive and caring.  When our son was born, a lot of thin

What about the lack of intimacy?

The mess, no problem. I understand that I'm the one that wants things relatively picked up. So I'll do it for me, knowing it's for me.

The bills, under control. I like taking care of our finances and since I took them over we haven't been overdrawn.

Cooking, I like to cook. I don't mind doing the dishes either, especially when everything turned out well.

You work all the time, well ok. I have things I can do on my own. Your work needs you too. You're doing something important that makes a difference in people's lives.

The Question of Trust

It is clear to me that we love our ADHD partners.  Although, I see alarming similarities between us and the addict-co-dependant relationship.  We keep trying to get them to feel something that we think they should be feeling or do something we think they should be doing or to stop doing something (like hyper focusing on other women) we don't want them to do.  They have no idea how much we love them and they think we're just miserable people, as opposed to people who are trying to improve our relationships.  My question to all of you is this;

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