Recent forum posts (all topics)

Bets and ADHD

Hi, 

I met my husband online. We talked for 6 months on skype before we met face to face. I never suspected him of ADHD. He was acting normal. We got married after 2 months since our face to face meeting cause we were in love. After that I found out he has ADHD, he gas 3 kids with 3 different women, he gambles/bets. Back then I really thought that everybody has the right to be happy so I didn't freak out. It's been 2 years since our marriage and its not good at all.

I'm done with the lies and quite possibly him!

My husband and I just celebrated our 10 year anniversary.  The last three years have been a roller coaster.  I met my husband 14 years ago.  It was very apparent to me from our first date, that he had ADD.  He first lied about having it, but later admitted he was diagnosed in his early teens.  We struggled at times due to his forgetfulness, impulsiveness, lying and lack of empathy.  However, we managed to get through our ups and downs.  The two years before our son were born, were probably our happiest.  I felt he was becoming more attentive and caring.  When our son was born, a lot of thin

What about the lack of intimacy?

The mess, no problem. I understand that I'm the one that wants things relatively picked up. So I'll do it for me, knowing it's for me.

The bills, under control. I like taking care of our finances and since I took them over we haven't been overdrawn.

Cooking, I like to cook. I don't mind doing the dishes either, especially when everything turned out well.

You work all the time, well ok. I have things I can do on my own. Your work needs you too. You're doing something important that makes a difference in people's lives.

The Question of Trust

It is clear to me that we love our ADHD partners.  Although, I see alarming similarities between us and the addict-co-dependant relationship.  We keep trying to get them to feel something that we think they should be feeling or do something we think they should be doing or to stop doing something (like hyper focusing on other women) we don't want them to do.  They have no idea how much we love them and they think we're just miserable people, as opposed to people who are trying to improve our relationships.  My question to all of you is this;

adhd and blaming

Maybe this is a redundant question, but I was wondering something. Does the adhd by itself cause folks to blame others for their inability to do certain things? or is it their way of coping with constant failures on certain issues? I know there is a difference in the frontal lobe of their brains, and certain behaviors are difficult and challenging, but I was just wondering about the blame part. Any ideas on this?

Re-negotiating and new boundaries

I want to learn how to re-negotiate - well, our lives!  LOL!!!

My outlook for the past 29 years has been "us as a couple" and "my marriage."

Boy, I have everything enmeshed together - the construction business, our relationship with families versus each of our own relationships with people in our families.  I walk in and out of permeable boundaries that really mean nothing.  And it makes my stomach churn.

Big slug;)

We swapped cars so that I could use his truck to move into my new place. He kept telling me he was going to wash and detail it. How we needed to meet early so he could get it done. Uh, it takes me about 20 min to do that well and HE'S the one claiming to be a master detailer:/

Well, he claimed no time to detail it after washing it. Not even a quick vacuum. 

Pages