Recent forum posts (all topics)

Frustration! Hands tied!

I have been reading and learning and trying to turn my attention back to me and what I need to do to survive this (vs what she needs to do). But it is so hard when she continues to learn nothing and keeps putting me in unhealthy dynamics...namely parent/child dynamic....for which I am really trying hard to work against! So here is where this week worked out: WE have been in the middle of buying our home, where we live and run our business from (a child development school). It has been a very long process with many delays (not good for someone with ADHD in terms of holding their focus).

Seminar vs Melissa's books

Forum: 

Hi - my husband and I are reading through Melissa's book about the ADHD Effects on Marriage (loving it - such a relief to have these issues finally explained) and I'm just wondering - how different are the seminars from the book? Do the seminars provide more/different information or are they based on the books but expanded with more anecdotes, etc? More detailed info on the seminars would be appreciated. I checked out the info on this site about the seminars but maybe I missed something?

Thanks.

"Looking angry vs Being angry"

I'm throwing out a question here about anger. My ADHD husband is getting better about his anger issues, but he still takes serious offense because many people think he "looks angry".  People find him hard to approach because his facial expression and body posture make him look like he is mad and angry about something. He's complained about this before, and YELLS (which doesn't help) "I'm NOT ANGRY"..."I'm just thinking about lots of things",  and I've told him that I've had the same reaction with not talking to him at certain times because he indeed SEEMS very angry.

Stepping outside the box to get a view through someone else's eyes

I am sitting at my desk looking out the back sliding doors.  The birds are all over the feeders, directly off the west end of the deck.   The awning is swaying gently.  There to the right - is the barn.  And buckets of stuff.  And a wheelbarrow.  And totes.  And metal.  And rolls of plastic pipe.  And an old cart for stackable chairs.  And some plastic milk cartons full of miscellaneous things.     

Cannot be myself around him

I have tried. 

I've been pleasant, kind, gracious, communicative, appreciative, and loving. 

We have been together all day long at work for a year and a half,  so my firm resolve to pursue a sense of normalcy for MYSELF, regardless of his antics, has been quite noticeable. 

I do not discuss money with him anymore. I keep the books and review the balance sheets with his business manager. The business manager tells him, "Do not spend any money."  Last night, I got shouted at because of that. 

ADHD husband trying hard but wife is not seeing improvements

Hello all first post  I have battled dysthymia and depression for most my life. I'm 40. Almost 4 years ago the wife and went to marriage counciling.  We were 6 years into it. We havery two great kids. But I hated work and symptoms of ADHD were becoming apparent. Forgetfulness not following though etc.  

We agreed to see a marriage councilor. It was helpful but I was the one with the problems. Ultimately I had a full psych eval done. Depression anxiety and ADHD. Plus I am smart. ( always a silver lining)

Finally Getting Some Help....

Hi All,

I'm new to this site but I realized after registering that I had already been to this site years ago but never engaged. Oh how sorry I am for that decision. I just came across Melissa's new book published in April 2014 on Amazon.com last night and I downloaded it. This past week, I was ready to leave my husband or have him move out. My situation became critical after I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in March of this year. For three years, I had MS symptoms but didn't know quite what it was.

Diagnosis and treatment ... then what?

Hi all, I'm new here.  My husband is in the process of getting diagnosed with ADHD.  A little background: we've been married 6 years, just had our 2nd child 3 weeks ago.  He moved out when I was 3 months pregnant and just moved back in about a month ago (yes, our relationship has gotten that bad) - this was the third time while pregnant that he said that's it, he was leaving.  I said fine, leave - my prioirity needs to be safety and stability for me and the kids.  I am exhausted from overfunctioning to compensate for his ADHD symptoms.  I am emotionally done.  Burnt out.

So now H is trying for a manager's position??

I don't understand him. A month ago he was all excited and told me that he only needed to complete 2 classes (one online and one reading a book and then taking a test in front of someone) and he would qualify for a QA position which he would get immediately because there are a bunch available and he wouldn't have to submit a resume or anything because he'd be green lit for it. He told me this on July 30, which was 5 days after the fallout with his daughter which he claims to be all torn up about now, but apparently wasn't then? He was super excited about the whole thing back then.

Credit card debt!

H has always been horrible with money. He has no savings and lives check to check (when he goes to work). Two years ago he had no credit cards. Last year he got one for "emergencies". It had a $700 limit. Then on Amazon he got one because you get $50 off your purchase. He had about $300 on that and said he was going to pay that off immediately and get rid of it. Well I just checked his credit history on a website and his $700 card has now been bumped up to a $1750 limit and his other one he was going to pay off is a $2000 limit.

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