Recent forum posts (all topics)

but what about me?

I have read Delivered from Distraction.  It is a great resource in understanding ADHD.  But, here's the thing.  I just read the chapter about "what kind of mate is best".  The problem is, I have been married for 11 years, and I am not the best mate.  I am having a horrible time accepting my constant give, and getting nothing in return.  I'm a go getter, I micromanage, I feel resentment even when I try not to.

Why Keep Trying

After yet another long winded discussion with my ADHD husband this morning in regards to the break down in communication which leads to divorce/separation talks I wonder what's the point? Why are all the non AD spouses working so hard to make sense of the commitment to stay, in what is mostly a dissatisfying, frustrating, hurtful relationships? I have been married 23 years to a man who has for the most part made my emotional life unhealthy.

Separating person from ADHD

The challenge with separating the person from the ADHD symptoms is that the symptoms exaggerate everything. The hyper focusing make things larger then life, make the person larger then life, and make growing as a person extremely slow and laborious. My ADHD partner is born under the astrological sign of Cancer. Canceriams are known for loving the past, which includes their past. I know Cancerians who can balance that and still dwell and engage with their present and future. With my ADHD-partner the symptom of hyper-focusing makes her past the most important thing!

Chronically disappointed becoming a norm

I'm in tears.  We've been together for five years.  We managed through the most difficult time of getting ADHD/Asperger's diagnosed, her denial, slow treatment.  I almost left, twice.  But it got better.  It is better.  But I've also allowed certain things to become my normal.  Like sometimes feeling a low lying sense of aloneness even though she's there.  I know she loves me to the ends of the Earth, but only because I've come to understand how she expresses it.  But how she expresses it doesn't make me feel loved or appreciated.

Just had the worst night ever!

SD arrived here on Thursday night for a 2 week visit. She sees it as a chore to come up here so she is never happy. She is glued to her phone and doesn't let it out of her sight for anything. She goes to the bathroom with it, sleeps with it and never lets us see who or what she is texting. H picked her up at the train station on Thursday evening and from the moment she walked in the front door, she didn't take her eyes off that phone. I want to take it from her and smash it into little pieces as I am so tired of there being no interaction whatsoever.

Newbie needing support and advice

my DH (fiancé) and I have been together for five years.  All was fine and has been up until two months ago when we got him in to the psychiatrist to get his Prozac regulated (for OCD) he has been on a HIGH dose for like 20+years and needs to decrease it.. So she tells him that she feels he has ADHD and OCPD.  His behaviors before were okay, I mean he's a successful physician, raised three kids alone, has his stuff together, lived alone for 20 years..  

Pages