Recent forum posts (all topics)

I haven't seen a post about the ADHD'R having issues with the spouse being the main focus. I came from a majorly diss functional family, so very young (4/5) I chose to build a replacement family later in life that would correct all the wrongs I was dealing with. Well between emotional immaturity, bad planning skills, and a very wicked case of ADHD being unregulated I lived my life. Typical low self esteem and anxiety kept me from dating, but one day I met my wife and it was on. Time to live my dream, my dream built by 4/5 year old architect.

What have we learned after decades of being married to someone who is not coping and addressing or even accepting ADD / not trying at all to work and commit and be a partner?

Had I known how it would turn out.....Had I known what I know now....Had I known it would never change from the early struggling days......I would have:

• I would have left the first time I caught him with another woman.

I am trying a new way of dealing with my significant other's funk/drama/blaming me for his negative feelings. He is depressed because he is having a lot of trouble getting a job. Yesterday was our anniversary and he sat home (we don't live together) and moped because he got a job rejection. I am sad for him, and supportive, and didn't give him a hard time. Since he feels bad about himself, he is blaming our relationship, the people who aren't hiring him, etc. for his unhappiness. He has untreated ADD symptoms and is not seeking help.

I could make this out to be a really long post, but to get to the crux of the matter I feel like my husband, deep down (or not so deep down), really does not want to work.  He has a very low-paying job at a hotel right now, which I think he has managed to stick with for the last 4 years because his boss is, in a very dysfunctional way, his "friend."  The job is also lower stress than a lot of other jobs, and hubby gets to bring his Nintendo DS to work to play with most days.  He still complains how much he hates the job, however, and the customers, and his boss, and so on.  He hates everyth

Hi,

I am the wife of my ADD Husband. We live in New Zealand and therefore why I am asking for advice on what medications have been found that may work better than Ritalin. My husband has not taken anything since us shifting to a rural town, but he is now keen to get back on track. I have read a bit about Wellbutrin, is this a common medication? Any advice would be greatly appreciated :-) Thank you, Melita

In our last angry discussion, my spouse growled at me, "What do you ever do for me?"  I said, "I do your laundry. . . .", and he cut me off before the whole word 'laundry' got off my lips and said, "I don't need you to do my laundry.  I can do my own laundry."

First off, I have to make a confession that I honestly had no idea the depth and effect that ADD/ADHD can have on a relationship when I began dating my wife.  Sure, I knew people who were "ADHD" growing up, and even a few as adults, but for the most part they seemed happy, adjusted, and vivacious individuals who were also succeeding at their jobs or careers.  

2. NOT BEING ABLE TO SHUT UP IN PUBLIC

There are many aspects of ADHD that I think can be managed, tolerated and worked-around. I have yet to have the privelage of going through Melissa's counseling sessions (financially strapped). Until then, here are a few out of the MANY issues I deal with with my ADHD spouse that I am looking for a workaround for. Anyone, including Melissa, found a solution to any of these?