Recent forum posts (all topics)

I have not been feeling well for quite some time.  I had told dh a few times I wasn't feeling well lately and went to doctor to get tests taken last week.  This Sunday morning, I said, I am not feeling well.  His response, "I wasn't feeling well either this morning.  But then I got out and starting working and I feel a lot better."  With that, he had thrown back at me, "You aren't sick. If you would work, like me, you wouldn't be sick."  Understand that I work full time.  He does not.

We have had a total breakdown of communication here.  The most seemingly benign topics can lead to a fight.  We are both extremely defensive.  I freely admit this about myself.  Everything I say is met with the opposite scenario.  No empathy for my point of view...ever.  Makes me feel unimportant and like what I think doesn't matter.  If I voice that I feel that way in any way, shape or form it leads to his rage.  Every. Single. Time.  I do not rage.  If I showed the amount of anger that he did, I can't imagine his reaction.  Maybe I should try it.

It's disheartening when you look at the truth sometimes and today was one of those days.  I've had a great deal of success with my ADHD symptoms and as far as my spouse tells me........things have improved for her as well.  The realization that is probably the hardest to look at but yet is the undeniable truth is that the things that cause her the most grief about being in a relationship with are a my ADHD symptoms.  No surprise here for anybody.

Hiya, my boyfriend has got adhd/add, I dont know what to do, I have a 9 month baby with him and I've got a 3 year old I've been going out with on and off for 2 years, He brakes promisess and lies to me I dont see him for days at A time and he wont tell me where hes gone cos he wont tell me And he will lie to me when he appears about where he has gone He say he didn't want to do it he just does it and doesnt kno why He gets obsessive with things and you can't stop him When hes nice he is nice and kind and caring but if he is in one Of his moods he is horrible he doesnt care about anyone

I don't know what to do anymore. My husband and I have had multiple issues with his ADD in the past. I have dealt with it, accepted it, been a slave to it, worked with it and around it and accommodated for it and everything in between. I have been above and beyond patient with this. He is RARELY patient and understanding with me and how his behavior affects me. To his credit, we have had occasional breakthroughs here and there where he finally admits to how he can see that his behavior makes me feel unimportant and he does apologize for it, and that's all I really want.

I think this statement qualifies as flawed thinking.  I've discovered some of my own since I stumbled on this forum which I'm seeing as one more step forward in attempting to find the things about myself that are affected by my ADHD and the parts that are not.  So far.......the ones that are appear to be on par with the ones that are but..... I did come to a few new realizations in both areas of my personality and behavior which I attribute directly from the content I've read here.

Another question for all of you. Do those of you with ADHD spouses/ boy/girl/friends notice a difficulty in their ability to express the proper emotion with the correlating words/actions? and do they understand what they are doing with this? My ADHD husband does not show many emotions that I "normally" display with ease, but since he won't discuss it with me, I don't know what to think. Anyway, when your significant other says they "love and appreciate you", is it said with the correlating facial expressions or bodily gestures that typically go with it?

I am losing respect for my spouse with ADHD. We've been married for over 8 years. He uses ignorant language like calling people or situations "Retarded" and says the F word like it is part of regular speech. It's embarassing to me even if no one is in the room but us- and I cringe when I hear him talk like this. I don't remember him talking like this when we were first together- its like it slowly came out as the years went on. Now that we have an young son, I am especially sensitive to what he says as I don't want my son to think talking like this is ok.