Recent forum posts (all topics)

Husband ignores me over his friends--any advice appreciated

I just found this forum, and can't say enough how glad I am that you are here. I always feel so choked up about this stuff and don't know who to talk to about it. Anyway, my husband is taking Adderall for ADHD, and we have a few other typical problems, but the one that constantly bothers me is that I feel like my husband ignores me and our children to go out with his friends or have his friends over. I feel like a third wheel in my own marriage, and I don't know what to do!

Introductions

My therapist sent me here after about 8 sessions of trying to help me with various issues (with the main focus being an eating disorder) and all of our sessions being at least 75% of me talking about my husband. Every suggestion she has for tasks for me to work on come back to me explaining how that would work in my marriage environment. She has said, "He really sounds ADHD." over and over; but, I have poo poo'd it because I really haven't believed in ADD or ADHD ever.. especially when I see every other kid around me being medicated for it.

Confused and Afraid ADDer

I was diagnosed about one year ago.I struggle every single day with all the extra effort I have to put forth just to function.I have started medication and I think oit is working.My wife on the other hand does not.We argue a lot and I'm scared that she doesn't love me any more.She is always telling me what I am doing wrong.Neve4r apologizes when she is wrong.Even when I do something correctly , she is still very critical. She is also dealing with my son who has some issues also, for that reason,I try not to disagree with her.

Went to Jail

I spent Sunday night in jail for not taking care of a returned check that my ADD husband said he would handle/help me with. I've been through garnishment, sued, evicted, several bank accounts closed, cars reposed  and the shear turmoil and embarrassment of it all. I've covered up so much from my friends and family that I don't even remember the truth. 

Inaccurate self-observation

I’ve been doing some thinking about inaccurate self-observation and the narratives that people build around it, and I’m curious to hear about other people’s experiences. I find that often when my boyfriend and I disagree about something, he thinks he holds the “truth” for the interpretation of events he is involved in. When it comes to feelings, he has invalidated mine because he thinks they are an inaccurate representation of both his intention and his actions.

impulse control..ANGER...

3 years of marriage and DH still can't control his anger..Anger is very stressful especially when you are in a great mood and trying to just discuss a matter with him and he just starts to flare up with no warning..When is a good time to approach him?..I resumed back to one of my ADHD books where it states that verbal cues and body language also the way in which you speak has a lot to do with the response_response hence the wrong interpretation..I on the other hand would sometimes forget how to approach him with everyday life concerns etc,then the message is processed wrongfully to him and

A frank and uplifting account of living with a partner with mental health problems for many decades.

I have just listened to this programme on BBC Radio Scotland. Although the lady in the programme is talking about her decades of marriage with her husband who is bipolar, rather than ADHD, her fortitude and resiliance is relevant to anybody living with a partner with any mental health condition. She talks a lot about how she can only change her own responses and behaviour, which is the same message as Melissa Orlov gives in her book. I'm not sure how long this programme will be available for, so best to listen asap.

The irrational thinking is killing me

My husband that I am separated from but living with right now, blew up this morning. It started with him attempting to start laundry while I was cooking breakfast. I reminded him (not as gently as I should for such an unstable personality) that I planned on doing my laundry after breakfast, but told him he could if he keeps up with it. He declined. 

He gave me the cold shoulder after that and a couple hours later, announced he was going to the laundromat. I reminded him how silly that was, considering mine was almost done, and he started in with the blame. 

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