Recent forum posts (all topics)

Dh has his areas of house.  I have mine.  His are messy, disorganized, greasy, dirty, disheveled.  Mine are cleaned and tidy and organized.  Sunday night after company, I didn't feel like washing the dishes, so I didn't. Yesterday I didn't feel like doing the dishes in the kitchen so I let everything out on counters.  Today I looked at the messy kitchen and thought, "This is what dh's areas look like all the time.  He doesn't organize or prepare or clean his areas.  Will he notice that the kitchen is a mess and that there is no silverware or dishes?

After years of discord and struggle, I decided to leave my ADHD marriage. When I informed my ADHD husband, he insisted he would do anything to "keep our family together." As an example, he explained that we fight because I'm too controlling and he needs to assert his individuality. He offered to "give up his individuality" if it meant I would stay. In the days since I said I was leaving, he's been Mr. Perfect - home on time, brings flowers, no major conflicts. After years of riding this roller-coaster of a relationship, I don't believe he can sustain this focus on our relationship.

Dear Melissa:

I like most of you, have been angry, make that "furious" a lot with my husband and his antics. I was miserable, and just filled with hate. I resented the lying, especially since it's almost always over what I would consider stupid things. I've finally realized that in order for things to ever "change", I had to stop worrying about my husband and if he was ever going to change, and instead free myself. I developed a mood disorder after the birth of my daughter, as well as depression.

Hello all,

Do you ever just get tired of being blamed for everything?  I bend over backwards for my husband and sons on a daily basis.  Yet, any conflict or potential conflict is dumped in my lap.  I'm controlling.  I'm hard to please.  I'm disrespectful.  I'm ....fill in the negative blank.  

I have stated on another thread how frustrated I am with myself - I was re-listening to a cd teaching series on co-dependency.  How in Sam's Hill am I in the middle of a co-dependant relation ship with my spouse when I worked so hard to get out of them?  My life and my children's life was spun around fixing my spouses mood -  as it was once again today.  

I have been married to an ADHD guy for 5 years now.  We have him in treatment with a counselor and psychologist, but I feel I need to vent.  He has demonstrated totally financial irresponsibility.  I let him have his own checking thinking it would teach him to be responsible, pay his bills, etc.  I found out he has been withdrawing money without me knowing to to pay for expensive car parts on paypal and having them delivered to his job so I wouldn't know.  I am unemployed and have been taking out my savings to survive and cover the bills.  I was wondering why my savings was disappearing so

I don't know where to go anymore.  16 years of putting up with my husband. 16 years of the same patterns of arguments every hour every day every week. 16 years of the lying, deny, distort, deflect.

So I have been reading about ADD for about the last 6 months. Like a lot of you, I tried to "help" my husband in the beginning, now I am changing me. Well things are even worse. All he did was starting using medication, he has not worked on any strategies.  I see no different in him at all. Still wants me to make a call, schedule, pay bills and so much more then complains or lashes out because I am too controlling. He now says we are both responsible. How can that be? I dont have ADD, I dont make chaos, I dont always feel overwhelmed, I dont understand how they can say it is both people???