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I don't know if I'm asking for tips or just venting.  My husband and I live apart these days but it seems that I keep finding things that are evidence of his disorderly approach to life.  The latest was my discovery in the basement today:  a futon (that I knew was there), the surface of which contained a large area of  mold or mildew (that I hadn't known was there).  The basement mess and junk, none of which is mine, bother me so much that I almost start to hyperventilate when I go down there.

Ive been reading this website since I was diagnosed with ADHD and began medication after a lifetime of asking myself "what the hell is wrong with you bill?". The blinders coming off in a rush of selfrealization and the pain, sorrow, and anger directed at myself at times feels overwhelming. I try to cope and I cry a lot. They are real tears though...ive never felt these before. First a little background on my history and my current situation I am currently seperated from my beautiful wife and our 4 children because of this disease and its toll it took on them.

Greetings!

A few months ago I found myself positively swept off my feet by a man I'd known through business for awhile.  On our first date he mentioned he has ADHD and is treating it.  Not much more was said, so I started doing research on what that can mean.  I realized pretty quickly he was in hyperfocus and tried not to get attached to the idea that this level of attentiveness would be ongoing.  Sure enough it waned, no big deal however he seems to be getting progressively less communicative. 

Why is it Ok for him (he has ADHD) to forget everything, but if I forget something it's a catastrophe?  Why is it OK for him to feel overwhelmed because he has 1,000 thoughts running through his head, but it's not OK for me to feel overwhelmed?

Maybe this thread has already been done, but I have another question in which an ADHD person may be breaking things. Do other ADHD'ers break stuff?  My ADHD husband is always breaking things, and has ever since I met him. Most of the time he shrugs it off, but it has cost us an unbelievable amount of money in replacing items that he breaks. You NAME IT, he's broken it.  Every time we get an item where there is some "assembly required", the item gets put together backwards or upsidedown, or gets broken completely, but, if someone ELSE breaks something, he goes ballistic.

Does anyone else have to deal with this ADHD trait, and if so, how do you deal with it.  My ADHD husband will say something 50 to 100 times or more before he actually DOES the thing he's talking about. One such incident is spray killing the weeds in the front yard, which he talked about for weeks ahead of time. Finally he puts up some sticks and string around the piece of yard he is putting the weed killer on, but STILL DIDN'T put down the weed killer.

Thank you in advance for reading this.  I am having a real hard time with marriage.  My husband has anxiety and takes medication for it.  I also think he has ADHD, but he argues that it doesn't exist.  Please let me know if you agree with me.  He makes NO plans at all with life with me.  The only things he mentions are things he likes to do, fishing and watching movies.  As far as planning for kids, I do All of it.  

My ADHD husband always has excuses as to why he can't do things.  I'm just about at the end of my rope!  He has told me to give him lists of things that need to be done around the house but when I do he rarely completes the tasks.  Yesterday I emailed him a list while i was at work.  He received the list at 10am and said he would be happy to do everything I asked and have it done before I got home.  The chores amounted to about 30 minutes of work and yet when I got home at 3pm nothing had really been done.  He did unload the dishwasher but never finished putting anything away.  He put a few