Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi,

I'm new to this site and forum. I have a lot of questions about living with ADD and with a spouse who has ADD. But before I get into my questions, let me give you some back story. Sadly, this is really long, but I don’t know how to make it shorter without leaving a lot out. Probably a lot of it will be familiar to many people. 

My husband and I have been married for about 6 months now. He was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and took Adderall off and on throughout his life, but for the past 3-4 years he has been taking it consistently. I've read the books and I'm reading all the forums and I still feel so lost. My husband is a wonderful guy but his self-esteem and confidence is almost non-existent when it comes to his career and work abilities. He has been a nurse for about six years but has been fired from many jobs because he says inappropriate things at times.

It's been a long time since I've been on this site.  On the whole, things have been going really well with my wife and I.  This morning I experienced something that I'd like advice on. 

"....an ability to rationalize their behavior so that it appears warranted, reasonable, and justified...... a stunning lack of concern for the devastating effects their actions have on others.....they are completely forthright about the matter, calmly stating that they have no sense of guilt, [and] are not sorry for the pain and destruction they have caused which is associated with a remarkable ability to rationalize their behavior."    This, I am guessing, is what many of us are coping with in our partnerships/marriages.

To start off with, I love someone who deserves someone functional and want to be that person.  He's fairly successful but I've never had a job for more than two months in my entire life.  I've got dyspraxia (sometimes known as NLD in America), ADHD, joint hypermobility and dyscalculia.

Life is often tough. There are a lot of rocks in the road to self-discovery. It takes a lot to learn what you need to do in order to be able to move past things when life gets hard.
Sometimes people will steal your heart, and make the world feel so much brighter for a while...and a lot of times that light ends up being stolen away...when they walk away, or when you no longer feel them even though they are right beside you...in that moment of longing for the memory of that person to be there in reality..the world will seem colder, and darker...

I am new to this site, but what an eye opener it has been!

Non ADD wife married to an inattentive ADD husband, and we have kids.  Though, he has a very successful career and has had the same job (though several promotions) with the same employer since he graduated college (with straight As) 13 years ago.

I have been in a 2+ year long distance relationship with a man that I am convinced has ADD/ADHD.  I have finally begun to see the behaviors in a real and troubling sad way. 

His coping with disorganization, and lost items as well as time crunches that result, is so scary for me.  I feel I am watching him in an alternative universe. 

So maybe I have made excuses and maybe I have enable him and tried to save my marriage,but what can I say now I have given it 2 years and one month and it was a total waste of my effort/time.Who knows what to expect when you now meet someone and that moment presents itself and BOOM!!!!!

39 years of marriage, meds, counseling, job loss, house loss, being told I'm enabler - and the cycle goes on. Taking my energy , my sense of purpose and my hope. Please advise.