Recent forum posts (all topics)

I am so tired of being the one to blame.  I am so tired of it always being about him and his needs.  I am tired of walking on eggshells regarding when I talk about things or bring up things about him.  I am tired of all his frustration being taken out on our relationship and no one else.  I am tired of having days spent feeling his frustration with me and of us not connecting.  I am tired of him not really "remembering" the times that I initiate sex.

He said I call him a loser with a capital L on his head.  I NEVER called him a loser.  He said it was implied by the things I say and my tone.  That used to shut me up while I contemplated if i do that or to defend myself.    Today I had a great comeback.  "Yes, maybe I do give you that feeling. Sorry. You are constantly silently calling me a bitch with a capital B on my head if you want to count "implied" talking.  You are calling me a bitch when you do your "hang-dog stance" after I ask a simple question. When you look at me with daggers or walk away while I am trying to communicate.

Hubby has been doing better with his insecurities issues.I have been letting him know that I would never ever cheat on him and it worked.He is doing much much better for the past 2 weeks now.

One of our biggest problems was him feeling insecure that I would run off with someone else b/c I am 16 years younger than him,and,soo far things have been so much better.

I was diagnosed with ADHD about 2 and half years ago and have been fairly successfully medicated for the past year.  I currently struggle with going to bed on time, waking up before noon, and remembering to take my meds on time. 

My spouse, who has ADHD, has conveyed to me, subtly and directly, that it is unreasonable or abnormal that I have needs for emotional support (e.g., someone to talk to occasionally about me and my life) and that I expect these needs to be met in our marriage, by him.  

As a result, I have shut down my neediness.  I don't talk to my husband about myself and I rarely talk to other people about myself.  I feel incredibly lonely.  So, everyone out there, what do you think:  is it wrong to have needs?

  Hello to everyone, 

I have come across this great website and have just started reading the book. I have always known that something was not quite right but can not believe all the symptoms that have been confirmed. My mother in law, spouse and youngest daughter have what I have previously described as itchy brains. Distracted, compulsive, impulsive, oppositional and risky.  Brains ticking at a million miles an hour unknowingly upsetting so many people.

For complicated reasons, terribly stress related reasons... it has taken a toll on us both. 

He (ADD) says he's leaving. He no longer trusts me, says he. Lots of you can understand where the blame goes, right?

He wants to leave all problems, tough problems. At an elderly age folks. I'm 15 years younger. Been together 12 years. He says he'll be grabbing cheap airfare in about a week. Wants to take no money, leave me with his social security money (I don't want or need it), he'll "find a way in the city."

We are both exhausted and might sleep better tonight (I hope!).

Could anybody tell me more about it? Is it part of what ADHD is like? Or could it be something called by Ritalin?

My husband was diagnosed in 2005, tried Concerta and Adderal for 1 year, and quit. Then started on Ritalin in 2008 and has been on it ever since. His anger has really picked up since about 2009/2010. Before he was sarcastic and would storm out -- now he is furious, unreasonable and sometimes violent. 

I’ve only just discovered this forum and it is frightening how many women are in a similar position to mine!
 

When I met my husband he was a loving, caring and attentive man. Sure, he was forgetful sometimes and okay, maybe not all his plans worked out but everyone has that now and then, right?
Wrong! The minute we got married, things went downhill. The sex evaporated almost overnight (we’d had a very regular sex life up to that point), his forgetfulness got worse and any initiative that he used to have just seemed to have drained out of him.
 

I am ashamed of my anger and hate and resentment. I accept that I have been working too hard at this relationship - so much that the relationship is a burden to him and to me. I have become Pavlov's dog conditioned to expect disappointment and heartache.  My ADD husband has been the manipulator who unknowingly? has been giving me the painful constantly surprising electric shocks of forgetting me/ignoring me/empty promises/empty words of love/flirting with others/staying distant when I need him.