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Hello,

I'm a 41 years old married for 11 years to an ADHD man. He is not diagnosed and I think he would never accept to take a test, as the idea of him having something wrong, is not possible for him.

I started reading about ADHD, because of my boy, he has it, has been diagnosed and is taking Ritalin. It seems to help him at the school and at the moment he is doing fine. I'm the one who decided to have him checked and found a pediatrician specialized in ADHD. I'm the one who goes to the consults, deal with the school, homework, housework, etc.

I wanted to provide some words of hope for those of you who may be where I was.  To be honest, I was at what I believed to be the point of no return.  As the non-ADHD spouse I felt lonely, sad, overwhelmed, angry, and just plain exhausted.  I would wake up in the morning and hate the person I saw in the mirror, I knew I had become someone I was not proud of.  I could see the strain in my dear ADHD spouse as well.  We were barely speaking and when we did there was no substance - it was mainly what's the weather today, can you grab the mail.  I was frustrated because after almost 8 years of t

I am a non adder and my husband is a medicated ADHDer.  I am 35 and he is 41.  We have been married 3 years together for 7.

Where to start?!

I am so tired of being the one to blame.  I am so tired of it always being about him and his needs.  I am tired of walking on eggshells regarding when I talk about things or bring up things about him.  I am tired of all his frustration being taken out on our relationship and no one else.  I am tired of having days spent feeling his frustration with me and of us not connecting.  I am tired of him not really "remembering" the times that I initiate sex.

He said I call him a loser with a capital L on his head.  I NEVER called him a loser.  He said it was implied by the things I say and my tone.  That used to shut me up while I contemplated if i do that or to defend myself.    Today I had a great comeback.  "Yes, maybe I do give you that feeling. Sorry. You are constantly silently calling me a bitch with a capital B on my head if you want to count "implied" talking.  You are calling me a bitch when you do your "hang-dog stance" after I ask a simple question. When you look at me with daggers or walk away while I am trying to communicate.

Hubby has been doing better with his insecurities issues.I have been letting him know that I would never ever cheat on him and it worked.He is doing much much better for the past 2 weeks now.

One of our biggest problems was him feeling insecure that I would run off with someone else b/c I am 16 years younger than him,and,soo far things have been so much better.

I was diagnosed with ADHD about 2 and half years ago and have been fairly successfully medicated for the past year.  I currently struggle with going to bed on time, waking up before noon, and remembering to take my meds on time. 

My spouse, who has ADHD, has conveyed to me, subtly and directly, that it is unreasonable or abnormal that I have needs for emotional support (e.g., someone to talk to occasionally about me and my life) and that I expect these needs to be met in our marriage, by him.  

As a result, I have shut down my neediness.  I don't talk to my husband about myself and I rarely talk to other people about myself.  I feel incredibly lonely.  So, everyone out there, what do you think:  is it wrong to have needs?

  Hello to everyone, 

I have come across this great website and have just started reading the book. I have always known that something was not quite right but can not believe all the symptoms that have been confirmed. My mother in law, spouse and youngest daughter have what I have previously described as itchy brains. Distracted, compulsive, impulsive, oppositional and risky.  Brains ticking at a million miles an hour unknowingly upsetting so many people.