Recent forum posts (all topics)

To me perhaps the hardest thing is this: my husband is THE person I want to turn to when I hurt, when I feel someone has been unkind to me or treated me unfairly, when I need loving support or advice in dealing with a difficult situation. He is the person I trust most in the world in that we began our lives together, more than 20 years ago, with a foundation of mutual respect, honesty, caring, understanding, etc, etc. and have created a wonderful family and a (mostly) comfortable home and life together.

Before I begin, read this with the understanding that I know I have created many our problems but I think that the first domino that broke down in our marriage was the ADD aspect of my wife.

We've been married for 26 years. Initially, my wife was very sexual, creative and a thrill seeker. It didn't take long into our marriage for her to simply 'forget' sex and then get mad when after 5 days I was in need. 

Why is the idea of "trying differently" so hard for ADHDers to grasp and agree to?  I'm just having a bad day of frustration over my relationship that ended.  We spent a great year and 1/w and then we spent a year at each other's throats - but always coming back to each other - and that didn't work.  I suggested that the way we were working on things wasn't working, so how about trying differently -  that was not welcomed.

My husband was diagnosed with ADHD several years ago and has been on and off Ritalin, usually taking it only when he needs to focus on something important like a work deadline. It has taken its toll on our marriage and we separated 6 months ago after 26 years. I have been in therapy for the last 9 months dealing with my issues that have contributed to our problems and trying to reach a decision about staying or leaving the marriage. Recently my therapist suggested that I should be evaluated for ADHD myself. I was thoroughly surprised, but as I've done some reading, I think she's right.

I have coped all these years of marriage to ADD husband by distracting myself, rationalizations, prioritizing, working for the greater good, having occasional tantrums, and denial all while being confused.  Yes, those are exactly what a sane person does to cope with a situation that is not to their liking but needing to accommodate.  I am new to the realization that DH has ADD.   With this clarity, I am glad for the confusion to be lifted.

my husband very, very likely has ADD - and if he doesn't have an "official" diagnosis, it's very clear to me, and others in our lives, that he definitely has many ADD behavioral tendencies, so regardless of a diagnosis or not, he definitely fits into the pattern of ADD behavior.

Thought my 8 yr old son had dyslexia until recently diagnosed with ADD.  I now know I have it and can recognize the family history.  In addition, I am an ACOA.  I feel double whammied and don't even know where to start.  I've been going to ACOA mtgs for six months and they are helping.  But I now clearly see many issues with my marriage.  Where do I start since there are many similarities between ACOA and Add?  Do I see a psychiatrist? Should I get a diagnoses first? Do I start stimulants?  Do I ask my husband to go to therapy?

I am about to read my second ADHD book,now "driven to distraction" I am more fond in finding information and learning more about ADHD and how it affects the ADHD person himself,well it is also "of course" helping me in my relationship with DH,and I have been, and I must say, much much better with myself and dealing with the disorder.Anyhow, I still have a lot to learn and to encounter as well, something just crossed my mind while reading the great book and I was "AGAIN" wondering what made me think something was wrong with dear hubby?to actually land at blogs and forums in the first place,i

So, cried myself to sleep last night...

After two days of refusals to talk, which he, of course denied. Funny thing is I actually believe he does not identify the fact that I asked for talking about specific issues.

No sex for about a week. That anxiety thing on that issue just feeds.

He left at 11:30 yesterday saying he'd be back soon n returned at 9:30 last night.

Today he justified the behavior by trying to give me money n saying he enjoyed his time away from me. He completely ignored the fact he discounted anything I actually asked talked about.

I feel that my husband, who has ADHD but not admit it affects my life, is so clever that he manages to turn everything around and back to me. This makes me feel so hopeless and I don't really know whether I should worry about it or just do what I have done for seven years, just let go! and forget about it until the next stormy day.