Recent forum posts (all topics)

I was in a relationship for 10 months with a guy with ADHD. The hyperfocus really felt like heaven, but I should have never ignored the red flags I saw since the beginning (drinking out of control, impulsivity, circular arguments, etc.)

I used to be on the forum regularly. Much less so now that I'm divorced (at the end of May, I'll be marking 7 years since the marriage ended). Things involving my ex-husband impelled me to return here, and the mention in a few posts of being in the Twilight Zone motivated me to post again.

My ex has ADHD. He abandoned me and our children, first emotionally, then financially, then physically. I know that "abandoned" is a strong word, but I think that other folks with experience in the TZ can handle it. 

Hi All! I am wondering if a relationship with an ADHD person can ever be good. I've heard the phrasing "good enough" used a lot. But what does this actually look like? As the non-ADHD partner, the amount of "sacrifice" for my relationship needs feels disproportionate and diminishing. For instance, understanding that my partner is "not intending to ignore me" does not really help me feel less ignored. I want to feel special, thought of, and have a spouse that shows interest in me. I am having trouble seeing this as compatible with an ADHD spouse. What are the success stories?

47 years of marriage to someone with severe ADHD, and I feel like my life has been one big sacrifice.

I am being referred for an adult assessment. My youngest daughter is also waiting for assessment. I have been reading The ADHD Effect on Marriage. I can see a lot of things that have contributed to a lot of the issues in our relationship and also other relationships of mine. 

I started the spring project of landscaping a berm that is 200 sq ft.  It had been left uncared for for years..... overgrown and mixing the grass around it with the crown vetch.  I was making a perimeter and shoveling a foot into the margin to start this project.  H wants to help.  So he is kneeling down and picking out tiny pieces of dead sticks from the ground between the leaves.  I commented about what I was doing and what I hoped to accomplish and that my back will start to hurt soon.  I asked if he would do some of the heavy shoveling for a while.  That was half an hour ago.

I've known my wife for almost my entire life. We dated and married young, but rapidly lost interest in her.
I'm at a point of trying to find reasons to keep us together although she never lost her will.

We have this reoccurring problem in ALL of our arguments.   I say he's just being avoidant, he says he needs time to "process" what I'm saying.   We need to break this cycle and I'm not sure I'm in the wrong, but maybe I am and could use help.

Any time we have an issue, he won't bring it up.  In the early days of my relationship, when I would bring it up, he'd accuse me of starting an argument at an inappropriate time.  Which, of course, would start an argument.